For nearly a month last summer, each night as I drifted to sleep I’d find myself on a fixed plane in a dark place where the only illumination came from the objects and the various people that I would encounter. Depth and relative sizes were seemingly nonexistent. As soon as I perceived anything it was as if I saw it for its essence, without scale, without relativity. My legs felt as if they were moving and I felt as if I was in control of them, but at the same time I was just as much under the impression that trying to move or go in any direction other than the one I was heading would be useless. Within these dreams every conversation I had was with a person of wisdom. but my direct awareness of the conversations would somehow go in and out, without consideration of time. There was no chronological sequence in this place, events and ideas were passing only as quickly as I could interpret and understand them – ideas occasionally comprehended and rarely retained. I would wake exhausted, both mentally and physically.
These dreams always found their conclusion with an impression of a man whom I’d found a familiarity for that had the strength to redefine my idea of familiar. The last few nights I’d embark towards this man only to be lost into the day before I had the chance acknowledge him. Each night before I would spot him I would have conversations with many people, some known to me – others who I was only able to listen to before passing. These dreams never ended subtly or expectedly.. always appearing with the surprise of the body I’m inhabiting being involuntarily pulled up and away from where I was and then quickly towards and past this person, when suddenly I would awake. One night after conversing with a man I have come to believe to be my understanding of Socrates, I could feel that my time was at hand as my feet began to be led astray and my body began to dissipate, only for the feeling to reverse and for my feet to once again regain their footing. I was lost and found again in a moment. I was no longer bound. As I traveled I passed piles of broken and burnt bones, some of which were fresh with acridity, others that seemed to have been amassing for eons… I began to gaze through holes and cracks where I could see what at first I refused to believe was gold, diamonds, gems – the finest materials from every corner of the earth. I realized the height of these bones was not from their sheer amount but that they were strewn about on immaculate buildings and on feats of engineering that any architect could only stand in awe of. There was little distinction amid the death but a clear message struck me… Finally passing this, my path gave way to a clearing of bright sage interlaced with blooms of morning glories. I arrived upon a dark skinned man of gentle demeanor and simple attire who seemed to be in his mid-thirties. From a distance he cast compassionate glances on the frail body which I inhabit in these most compelling of dreams. I was astonished and stricken with the strongest of grief when I came close enough to realize his feet were swollen and bleeding, his hands likewise, his sides pierced with jutting ribs and his muscle and sinew in full view between the slashes of whip cuts.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, I asked “Why on earth would a good man find himself in this state? I have seen many men treated in very hateful ways, but there is no comparison between their torments and yours. Deceptive priest, politicians and corrupt judges poisoned the last man I saw; is it by priest and judges that I find you in this cruel state?”
As he prepared to answer our eyes met and I could feel his admission before I could hear the sound -“Yes“.
I felt compelled to ask “Who were these monsters of men?”
His eyes dropped along with his voice.. “These men were hypocrites”
I replied as naturally as if he had told me something I had known all along “With that you say it all, with this single word I understand they must have condemned you to death. Had you shown them, as Socrates did, that the moon was not a goddess, and Mercury by no means a god?”
“No, these planets and universal truths were not of question. These men knew nothing of the planets; these men bathed in ignorance and dried themselves with superstition, although these superstitions bore a different face they were just as empty of truth as the Greeks”
I then asked “Did you try to teach and force upon them a new religion?”
“Not at all; my message was simple–‘Love the world with all your heart and all it’s people as yourself, for that is man’s whole duty.’ Judge for yourself if this feeling that is implanted in your heart is not as old as the universe; ask yourself whether I brought them a new religion. I told them over and over I had not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it; I had seen their rituals; circumcised as they were, baptized as the most devout and zealous among them. Like them I gave my charity; I observed the passover as they did, I ate lamb standing as it was cooked with lettuce. I would often be found in silent meditation, as my friends would join me, my brothers and sisters even went to the temple after my death; in short I followed their statutes completely”
“You tell me these cowards of men could not even claim you as a criminal? These men had no reason for bringing this condition upon you?”
“There is no doubt these men had no reason, as there has never been a reason to bring this condition upon your fellow people”
“Can you tell me their reasons”?
“What do you expect me to say! They were wholly arrogant and entirely selfish. Although their sight was blinded in many ways they could see that I knew them and that I saw through them. This was not the trouble, the trouble was that I was acquainting the citizens with this knowledge. They took away my life; and people like them will always do as much to anyone who does them too much justice”
“But did you truly say nothing? Surely you gave them pretext, surely you gave them what they needed as to justify their actions”
“Must I tell you! In the hands of the wicked any justification becomes suitable”
“Did you tell them even once that you did not bring peace with you, but a sword?”
“That is an error of oral tradition, old positions and ever present greed; I told them that I came with peace and would do away with swords. I have never written a word; what I said may and most assuredly has been changed – either with or without evil intention”
“So you have in no way contributed by words or speeches to the piles of bones I passed before coming to you?”
“It is only in horror that I have watched men become guilty of murder while proclaiming it to be a righteous act in my name”
“These monuments to brash acquisitiveness, these symbols men have drawn to reflect their pride and avarice which I have passed on the road to meet you, do they come from you?”
“It would be an impossibility. I lived with my people in poverty. My wealth came only in the form of virtue, for I have never found material goods as true mediums for the expression of love”
I could tell I had grown much closer to upsetting this man than I had aimed to. Although knowing I had never been given the privilege of knowing the names of the people I had met in this place, I was possessed by the urge to know who this man was.. but when I looked at him he read my anguish and consolingly said “These transcendental mysteries come without name or label… As will I… As I am not important. When meaning is acquired what you call it and where it’s claimed to originate is irrelevant; when you follow those paths you will be led to confusion.” .. So I asked him, “Can you express to me this meaning? Can you tell me a true religion?”
“I already have. As I told you – in this frame of mind labels are useless. Religion is one distinction that only leads to division and a distancing from real truth and meaning. The word religion itself.. as with many others have only been forged by men in desire of advantage over others. The meaning is simple as I have already told you… Love everything that is outside of you as you must love all that lies within, for they have been and will once again be the same.”
Those words, the meaning of them gave peace. The feeling filled my heart and I awoke with the same peace and an absence of anxiety. When I am troubled I remember that night and I am given a guide to solace.