Cambridge educated economist and futurist Robert Theobald once wrote “A person with great power gets no valid information at all.”

He also wrote how no group or class should be free from the toil of their society, and how too many people have no idea how much “unpleasant, tedious and repetitive work is required to support their ‘high-level’ activities, and how ineffective they would be without the effort of those they all too often disdain.”

He’s dead and vindicated, the B side title from Stone Temple Pilots landmark album Core.

The man also advocated for a guaranteed basic income long before the times of Andrew Yang and pandemic UBI’s, but that’s neither here nor there.

Israeli diplomat and politician Abba Eban coined a phrase he adored so much that he used it during multiple displays of what we can safely assume were stirring oratory, and it went along the lines of “Men and nations will behave wisely once they’ve exhausted all other options.”

That phrase has been misappropriated and recalibrated ad infinitum over the last 40 years, and you might find a quote attributed to Winston Churchill reading “You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they’ve tried everything else.”

Excruciatingly topical.

Churchill encumbered himself with laconic quips to the point of future generations lending the gravity well of his name to words he never uttered. May history persevere to be so kind to current leaders.

Have you ever heard the handy little acronym SNAFU? Maybe you’ve used it in your day to day life. It’s the default setting for our modern world, stemming from a bit of old army slang. Situation normal, all fucked up.

[Imagine fudged or fouled up in the place of fucked if you possess delicate sensibilities, or you’re a fan of bowdlerization and minced oaths. This is no time for euphemism, and the spring of lexical couth has run dry.]

If you’ve never been a card carrying member of the Church of Discordianism, you’re far from alone. If you have been, well you might’ve made a few Popes and whether you're aware of it or not you’re aware of the mind of Robert Anton Wilson. You may also have witnessed that handy term SNAFU utilized in a way far grander than it’s architects could have imagined. Wilson made a principle out of it. He wrote about how communication in hierarchical structures will always have an inherent degree of distortion. You see, ideal communication can only take place between equals. Imagine telling your least favorite person what you really feel about them while they have a gun to your head if you'd like an illustration.

In addition to this bit of communication theory, Mr. Wilson and his friend Robert Shea wrote in their Illuminatus! trilogy that people cling to an inalienable and largely unarticulated right in contemporary society, the right to infantile and self-sabotaging ignorance. Over the last few weeks we’ve witnessed this right to ignore embraced and defended as though it was the child of the American God himself. The two Robert’s created two more concepts, termed the burdens of nescience and omniscience. The unknowing and all-knowing. We’ll come back to that in a moment.

What do these concepts have to do with anything? See, we‘ve recently been made painfully aware that the people on the roof aren’t listening to the people on the ground-floor, and the ramifications are going to end at the morgue.

British-Ghanaian philosopher, theorist, and professor Kwame Anthony Appiah is an advocate of a notion he calls ‘the social scriptorium’. It’s built upon the psychological idea of identity scripts, defined as “social expectations regarding how members of a particular group behave and communicate as a part of their social identity.” This social scriptorium provides “loose norms or models, which play a role in shaping our plans in life — including their plans for their own lives and their conceptions of the good life — by reference to labels and available identities.”

Imagine the social scriptorium as the Spotify for identity scripts. What identities have been available in our social scriptorium in regards to the current global pandemic? What scripts are the authoritative screenwriters we call our leaders providing the public at large? When it comes to choosing how to act, what’s on the socially acceptable playlist?

Wilson claimed that every citizen has what we could metaphorically call a radio built into his or her brain. He writes “This radio is the little voice that asks, each time a desire is formed, “Is it safe? Will my wife (my husband/my boss/my church/my community) approve? Will people ridicule and mock me? Will the police come and arrest me?” This little voice the Freudians call “the superego,” which Freud himself vividly characterized as “the ego’s harsh master.” Peris, Hefferline and Goodman describe this process as “a set of conditioned verbal habits”. Wilson liked to call that set of conditioned verbal habits the logogram. He wrote “Every authoritarian logogram divides society, as it divides the individual, into alienated halves. Those at the bottom suffer what I shall call the burden of nescience. What the person sees, hears, smells, tastes, feels, and, above all, what the organism as a whole, or as a potential whole, wants — is always irrelevant and immaterial. The authoritarian logogram, not the field of sensed experience, determines what is relevant and material.”

You see, Wilson is explaining that quite often what we experience has little bearing on how we act when it contradicts the scripts handed down to us by who we consider to be an authority. If the scripts aren’t in line with reality, our reality bears the consequences.

He continues “The person acts, not on personal experience and the evaluations of the nervous system, but on the orders from above. Thus, personal experience and personal judgment being non-operational, these functions become also less “real.” They exist, if at all, only in that fantasy land which Freud called the Unconscious. Since nobody has found a way to prove that the Freudian Unconscious really exists, it can be doubted that personal experience and personal judgment exist; it is an act of faith to assume they do. The organism has become, as Marx said, “a tool, a machine, a robot.”

Where has all the toilet paper gone? It’s in the hands of the tools, the machines, and the robots with a bit of discretionary income of course. What about those people on the roof? What about our leaders, our authority figures, the people who are supposed to have their hands on the wheel?

Wilson explains: “Those at the top of the authoritarian pyramid, however, suffer an equal and opposite burden of omniscience. All that is forbidden to the servile class — the web of perception, evaluation and participation in the sensed universe — is demanded of the members of the master class. They must attempt to do the seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling and decision-making for the whole society.

But a man with a gun is told only that which people assume will not provoke him to pull the trigger. Since all authority and government are based on force, the master class, with its burden of omniscience, faces the servile class, with its burden of nescience, precisely as a highwayman faces his victim. Communication is possible only between equals. The master class never abstracts enough information from the servile class to know what is actually going on in the world where the actual productivity of society occurs. Furthermore, the logogram of any authoritarian society remains fairly inflexible as time passes, but everything else in the universe constantly changes. The result can only be progressive disorientation among the rulers. The end is debacle.

The schizophrenia of authoritarianism exists both in the individual and in the whole society.

I call this the Snafu Principle.”

We’re all watching the Snafu Principle, in real time. As Gil Scott Heron didn’t say, it is being televised. Immanuel Kant wrote that “Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play”, and we are living through a smorgasbord of circumstance where theory and experience are having head on collisions at every corner. We’ve witnessed an administration commit a complete about face in response to what the eye of history will view as the defining events of their time in office, and we’re now watching as this administration employs strategies pulled from the playbooks of their avowed enemies. The folly and foibles will fall away in respect to what plays out in the coming months. What good is theory when there is no food on the table (or when there is no paper left on the roll)? What do nebulous categorical headers like capitalism, socialism and partisan posturings amount to in the face of true terror? William F. Buckley with his typical smirk would say “idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.”, well, we’re learning the costs of his sort of idealism are decidedly more prohibitive when society as a whole lays in the balance. What do we do?

When your shit theory hits the fan, immanentize the eschaton.

Chief on Comanche Square 2019

Most who come upon it know that the name Comanche comes from the tribe of natives who once occupied the land, although few would be able to tell you just where the name Comanche comes from. In a town full of so many friendly faces it comes to be a bit ironic that the name comes from the Ute tribes word “kimantsi”, which translates to “enemy” or “stranger” (the former word being what the Comanches were to the Ute’s for many years). The Comanche tribe called themselves “numinu”, their word for people.

Today the residents of Comanche County work hard to preserve their history, and it shows. This article will serve as a virtual tour, showcasing a handful of the counties’ many historical markers, as well as a few of its more interesting historical details. 

It would be hard to discuss the history of the county without first mentioning the counties’ robust museum. 

Comanche County Museum

This museum boasts over 30,000 square feet of history, featuring artifacts ranging back over 150 years. The staff at the museum has worked tirelessly to categorize the areas rich history, with rooms dedicated to historical periods, military heroes, and the communities that makeup the county.

Entrance of Comanche County Museum

As soon as you walk through the front entrance there are relics to examine, from blacksmithing tools and farm implements to an old Model T. This front open-air addition also features a Barber Shop scene before leading into a large and air-conditioned (important in the Texas heat) main building.

Old Time Barber Shop

Central Room of Comanche County Museum

Here you will find a giftshop, as well as a welcoming and informative staff. It quickly becomes apparent how much work has been put into making this counties history more accessible. This is a place to be experienced, and worth an article on its own. In the photo above you can see the massive flint display, featuring arrowheads of all shapes and sizes, spearheads, atlatl projectiles and myriad native tools (some you can even touch!).  

John Wesley Hardin

There’s a room dedicated to the scene of the infamous John Wesley Hardin and his murder of Brown County Deputy John Webb (of which there’s an article about on this site). There are also books about the events surrounding the murder, as well as a wall of photos and paintings of the men involved. The staircase from the courthouse where the case was heard is also found in the museum. Outside you’ll find the base of the oak tree his brother and kin were hanged from in the aftermath of the shooting. 

Jack Wright Saloon Diorama

You’ll also find dioramas of the Jack Wright Saloon and a Native American campsite. There’s a room dedicated to saluting our veterans, with uniforms from bygone eras as well as weapons and stories of the veterans that called Comanche County home. There’s a room featuring vintage doll houses, as well as many rooms explaining the histories of the many communities in the area. Geodes and petrified wood pair with an exhibit detailing the life of famed geologist Robert T. Hill. There are multiple attractions on the grounds of the museum, including an explorable 19th century log and stone cabin. Plans are in the works for an outside exhibit showcasing a few of the wooden bridges that once served the county, along with a butterfly garden. With so much to explore you owe it to yourself to visit this slice of Texas history, guaranteed that when you do, you’ll find much to experience and the friendliest of people. The museum is free to visit but I’d encourage you to buy a memento and maybe leave a donation, that way we can keep the history alive. For more information visit https://www.comanchecountytxmuseum.com/.

The Fleming Oak, Comanche Square 2019

Heading back into town from the museum you’ll find the city square. The square is steeped in Texas history. You’ll find nearly a dozen historical markers, the oldest log-cabin courthouse in Texas, a guided audio tour, as well as memorials to veterans of law enforcement and war. The oak in the photo above is the Fleming Oak, a storied tree that’s been preserved through care and sheer shotgun stubbornness.

Fleming Oak Historical Marker - 2019

Old Cora Courthouse – 2019

Old Cora Courthouse Historical Marker – 2019

In the areas adjacent to the new and old courthouse you’ll find a guide to the many attractions in the city, as well as many shops and highly regarded restaurants. Many of these establishments rest in buildings that have served the community for over a century, with many stories to be told. It’s a perfect place to spend an afternoon and evening.

Robert Thomas Hill Historical Marker – 2019

Although briefly mentioned when speaking of the museum, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give Robert Thomas Hill and the history of geology in Comanche County a bit more light. Being a state steeped in oil, geology is a field of interest for many Texans. A man considered the father of Geology in our state made his first forays into the field while living in the little frontier town of Comanche. His tale of coming join his brother in Comanche and the events that detailed his life would make for an enthralling Hollywood biopic. He was first employed with his brother at the local paper, The Comanche Chief. They soon became co-editors, until 1882 when Robert found his way to Cornell University – at the behest of his friend the local barber.

The Comanche Chief Historical Marker - 2019

The paper is the oldest business in the county, and one of the longest running papers in the state. Robert thrived in the world of words, as he was a man with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, as well as a curiosity all Texans owe for the knowledge it produced. He started his explorations on the local hilltop known as Round Mountain, and when he died his ashes were scattered there. The little mountain has history of its own, becoming the hiding place of John Wesley Hardin in 1874. 

Round Mountain - 2019

Little Girls Grave – CR 185 - 2019

Heading northward from town on a single lane dirt road you’ll find a memorial. This memorial has been kept and guarded since the 1870’s, for over a century it’s left many with more questions than answers. It sits just outside of the community of Sipe (pronounced Seep) Springs, a once bustling oil town.

Little Girl’s Grave Headstones

Amongst an eclectic offering of toys, flowers, stuffed animals and hundreds of pennies lie two headstones. The older looking of the two poses a simple question: Who is the little girl? Age 3, 1870. It’s said that in 1870 a family was traveling this trail westward when their child fell from the wagon, dying from head injuries. There’s also speculation she died from disease. Whatever befell the girl, she rests here now. A few years later a cemetery was established just a few miles away, but the girl remained. This is a story that has haunted and intrigued generations, so much so that the tradition of adorning this little one’s grave site still exists.  Today you can visit and pay your respects, leaving a penny and a thought. 

Gravesite in Sipe Springs Cemetery

A few miles from the solemn marker of an unknown girl lie a brother and sister, the epitaph on their gravestones simply reading “Happy and gay, to school they went one day. But thank God they are not dead, Just away.” The two children that rest here were victims in one of the worst catastrophes in the history of Texas – the New London school explosion of 1937. New London was an area rich with the spoils of the oil boom that was taking place at the time – it was home to one of the wealthiest school districts in the nation. In 1932 a large school was constructed from steel and concrete, at the cost of 1$ million (closer to $18 million today). In the original design of the building there was to be a boiler and steam heating system installed in the large area beneath the school, the school board opting instead to install gas heaters throughout. A common practice of the time was for residents to tap into existing residue gas pipelines from the oilfield in order to take advantage of the natural gas that traveled through the pipes. This untreated gas was volatile, and odorless. A leak developed in the system, and before long the gas had filled the subterranean levels of the school. On the afternoon of March 18th, 1837 an instructor turned on an electric sander, igniting the gas. The reports of eyewitnesses record the walls of the school expanding, before the roof lifted from the building and collapsed upon itself. A two-ton piece of concrete was thrown 200 feet, smashing a nearby Chevrolet. The explosion was heard up to four miles away, alarming residents to head to the source of the sound. A massive rescue effort was undertaken, with Texas Rangers, the highway patrol, the Texas National Guard and even a local troop of Boy Scouts being summoned to the scene. At some point in the evening it began to rain, those involved in the rescue effort working tirelessly through it all. Seventeen hours later the site had been cleared. It’s estimated that there were over 600 people in the school that day and that only around 130 escaped without serious injury. Half of them did not survive. A young Walter Cronkite was called to the scene, later stating “I did nothing in my studies nor in my life to prepare me for a story of the magnitude of the New London tragedy, nor has any story since that awful day equaled it.” In the aftermath of the disaster the Texas Legislature began mandating that thiols be added to natural gas, the strong odor from which now makes leaks detectable.

Mote Gravestone

Heading east from Sipe Springs you’ll find yourself in the second most populous city in the county, De Leon. This town has its own history as the peanut capital of the world, a crop turned to by local farmers after the drought and boll weevil devastation of the early 1900’s. This transformed the county from a cotton producing area to one of the largest producers of peanuts in the nation. 

De Leon Peanut Company Historical Marker – 2019

The town was also bolstered by the Texas Central Railroad, which due to the creation of the Peanut Company later became known as “The Peanut Line”. The depot was created and Texas Central laid out the town on April 10, 1882. The town became the primary shipping point for cotton before turning to the peanut crop. From De Leon we’ll head first east and then south, to the community of Comyn.

Comyn-Theney Historical Marker – 2019

Although little remains of the town that was Comyn, it was one of the first outlying communities to be established in the county after the removal of the Comanche in 1875. Here W.F. Catheney set out to make a thriving home for his family and friends, before having the town named for the man who built the railway depot. The school still bore Theney’s name. This community was neighbored by that of Jones Crossing, the birthplace of Lt. Governor Ben Barnes. Like many of the surrounding towns the area grew precipitously during the turn of the century oil boom, afterwards sharing much of the same declining fate. 

Jones Crossing Historical Marker – 2019

Although the historical marker is now housed in the county museum you can still visit Jones Crossing, a place still frequented for its fishing and scenery. This river no longer needs to be forded, as a bridge was constructed in 1899. On sunny afternoons you’ll find eager anglers hanging their fishing poles from its sides. 

Jones Crossing – 2019

If you continue southward, you’ll find yourself crossing the bridge at Proctor Lake (which you can also find an article about on this site), named for the nearby town of Proctor. 

Lake Proctor at Flood Level - 2016

The community of Proctor began as Mooresville, named for Thomas O. Moore who moved there in 1872, with his family behind back in Galveston. After returning to Galveston to fetch his family he found them ill and partnered with his friend Alexander Watson Proctor, sending him ahead to establish a mercantile building. As there was already a Mooresville in Texas, the town was eventually named Proctor. A building was erected for a post office in 1873, followed by a community center and school in 1876. The little town was moved in the 1890’s when the new Fort Worth Railroad missed the town by a mile, with Alex Chisholm buying the site for ranchland. 

Mooresville Cabin – 2019

Today a relic from the original Mooresville can be explored at the Comanche County Museum. You’ll also find a historical marker detailing the life of Thomas Moore’s sister Mollie, a renowned poet, playwright and from all account’s a highly interesting woman. She also wrote what may be the most impartial history of John Wesley Hardin’s time in Comanche county. 

Mollie E. Moore Historical Marker - 2019

So, this tour ends where it began. Although this list is far from exhaustive, I hope that it presents a few of the many reasons you may find yourself wanting to spend some time visiting Comanche County. There’s much to experience and much to learn, as well as ample opportunity to make a bit of history for yourself. Tell them I sent you!

John Wesley Hardin, Abilene, Kansas - 1871

The day of May 26th, 1874 is a day of infamy in Comanche County. It didn’t start that way. The residents of Comanche awoke with a spirit of excitement – horse races were being held northeast of town and people across the area would be traveling to witness sport and join in the festivities that come with such events. 

Life for the men and women of that period demanded a certain amount of grit, for those who decided to settle the Comanche Territory it demanded it in spades. These early settlers earned the title of “briar-breakers”, arriving in 1854 to clear the brush and chisel out a place for themselves in the expansive Comanche Territory. They were on their own. The closest supplies to be had required riding nearly three hundred miles, oftentimes in yoked wagons over roads that were little more than pairs of rock and stump-strewn ruts. The Leon River would gorge itself on rains as it still does today, overflowing its banks and stranding return parties who could spend weeks contemplating their homes and families just a few miles from where they were forced to camp in wait. This was the state of affairs for nearly two decades, and the families that remained forged deep bonds fighting to flourish in a part of this country many of us now call home. After years of tribulation from battling the native elements and people, the area began to see a great amount of growth. With the close of the Civil War there was an exodus from the more war-torn areas of the south, many of those who left their home states ended up in Texas, some in Comanche. After two decades of surviving Comanche raids the natives were rounded up and driven to reservations in 1874. This allowed the western part of the state to be settled and made Comanche one of the last bastions of civilization for those who were to venture that way. In 1873 the newly established Comanche Chief reported a town of 700, with twenty businesses to boast. 

Map of Texas 1854, Author: Henry Lange, 1821-1893.

One of the families making up those early 700 were the Hardin’s. The family was well renowned in the state, one member signing the Texas Declaration of Independence, another serving as a member of the Texas Congress. A descendent of these men, the young Joe Hardin had moved to town in 1871. He was well received and before long did work as a lawyer, real estate agent, and eventually as postmaster. His parents soon followed suit, with many of their children in tow. Of their children the most notorious was without doubt the outlaw John Wesley Hardin. Earning the outlaw designation at young age John Wesley or “Wes” had taken many lives before ever stepping foot in Comanche. He was born in Bonham, TX in 1853. When he was 15, he was in a wrestling match with a former slave, who reportedly ambushed him the next day. Wes shot him and fled. He went on to kill three Union soldiers looking to arrest him, his family hiding their bodies in his wake. In the six short years between that time and the Comanche races, he’d killed over two dozen men (conservatively), had a run in or two with Wild Bill Hickok, and escaped custody of the Texas State Police. 

May 26th was Wes Hardin’s 21st birthday and he’d arranged the races to take place on the occasion. The days leading up to the races had been filled with rumor. A Brown County deputy by the name of Charlie Webb had recently arrested the son of a Mrs. Waldrup, owner of a ranch Wes Hardin and his compatriots had spent an evening at in Logan’s Gap. Although there are differing accounts of what was said at dinner that evening, it is agreed that Mrs. Waldrup had taken issue with the deputy, and the cordial group of cowboys she was hosting took issue with him as well. In the weeks preceding the races it was whispered that Webb spoke of arresting Wes Hardin if the law in Comanche wasn’t up to the task. By the day of the races this rumor had become the notion that Webb and fifteen other deputies from Brown county had come to Comanche to arrest Wes Hardin and kill his associate Jim Taylor (who had a $500 bounty at the time). 

The morning of the races Hardin, Taylor and the rest of their band were seen coming towards the square while loading shotguns, preparing for the potential gunplay to come. It had yet to commence by afternoon. Although both Webb and Hardin were present, in Hardin’s words “he didn’t make any breaks”. Hardin and his gang took the day.  His horse Rondo won the first race, his cousins horse Shiloh won the second, and Dock his brother Joe’s horse won third. It’s claimed that Wes Hardin won $3000 (what would amount to close to $60,000 today), fifty head of cattle, a wagon, and fifteen saddle horses. Not a bad take for a 21st birthday. Ready to celebrate the group raced the afternoon sun back to town, bringing ruckus and gunfire along with them. 

Comanche Square, 1876

The gang caroused from one saloon to another, Hardin purportedly throwing handfuls of gold pieces to the bar, calling the patrons to come up and whet their thirst. With time the drink took its toll, tensions rose and the air became weighted with violence. Word was sent to Sheriff Carnes and he deployed deputy Frank Wilson to order Hardin and his men out of town before trouble ensued. Wilson found Hardin at the Jack Wright Saloon, where he’d called the crowd to the bar for another drink. According to Hardin he’d already called on his younger brother to prepare a horse and buggy before meeting them at the Wright Saloon, buying another drink for the crowd being a last call of sorts. Wilson walked into the saloon, telling Wes he was looking to speak to him. Hardin sauntered outside after Wilson, telling Wilson they’d gone far enough a few paces from the door. It’s said that Wilson relayed the message that Hardin should be making his way home as not to cause any trouble and reminded Hardin that it was a violation of the law to carry a pistol. Hardin threw open his coat claiming his pistol was back behind the bar - hiding the fact that another laid beneath his vest. Hardin told the deputy he would go back in for a cigar and leave as soon as his brother arrived with their homebound buggy. Before his brother could arrive and before Hardin could return to the bar for a cigar Jim Taylor stopped Hardin at the door, imploring him to go home. About that time someone exclaimed “Here comes that damned Brown County Sheriff!”

Current location of the Jack Wright Saloon

Walking up with two revolvers and the sun behind him, Webb had reportedly come to meet a friend before going to their home for dinner. When he arrived, Hardin stood at the entrance to the saloon, Jim Taylor to his left. Men began to give space between themselves and Hardin, eyes trained on the Deputy from Brown County. As Webb came within speaking distance Hardin exclaimed “Are you the sheriff of Brown County?”. Webb lifted his head a bit before placing his gaze on Hardin “No, I’m the deputy sheriff”. Hardin asked if he had papers for his arrest, which Webb replied, “I don’t even know you.” Hardin announced in a boastful voice “I’m the notorious John Wesley Hardin, the desperado, as people call me. I’m considered an outlaw, but I always carry the documents to protect myself”.  Hardin, seeing Webb’s hands behind his back asked what Webb was carrying. Webb produced a cigar, as Hardin went on “I’ve been told that you said Sheriff Carnes was no sheriff or he wouldn’t allow me to stay around Comanche with my murdering pals.” Webb refuted the statement, claiming he was not the sheriff, nor was he responsible for what the sheriff or the people of Brown county had said. Accounts differ, but it’s clear that John Wesley Hardin was gunning for his type of excitement. On both accounts Webb drew first, his and Hardin’s bullets being hard to distinguish. When the firing was over Hardin was wounded in the leg, and Webb lay dead with a bullet in his cheek. He was said to be his 40th victim. 

Reports claim that Webb had recently procured a new pistol, equipped with a hair-trigger. It’s assumed he fired early, misjudging the action of his gun and causing his shot to place low. The story may have ended here had the man grown accustomed to his arms. With that said, John Wesley Hardin was famous for the quickness of his draw and the preciseness of his gun play. In 1877, while a captive of the Texas Rangers, he was given a pair of empty Colts to show his prowess. A Ranger remarked he “handled the guns as a sleight-of-hand performer manipulates a coin. The quick draw, the spin, the rolls, the pinwheeling, border shift - he did them all with magical precision.” He kept his pistols holstered with the butts facing out, crossing his arms to draw. He swore this to be the fastest way to draw, and history does much to justify his opinion. 

A .41 Long Colt Double Action “Thunderer” Hardin owned, sold at auction for $100,000.

 Hardin and his associates backed towards the Saloon, Hardin calling his gang to fill up the pistols and hold the house. Men rushed to the square, one of them being Sheriff Carnes. The Sheriff had a bum pistol and was on his way to the smith when the fighting broke out. Brandishing a weapon about as lethal as a paperweight he trudged forward to apprehend two of the most violent men in the state. When he approached, he demanded Hardin’s pistol, which he gave. Deputies had relieved Taylor and many of the other members of Hardin’s bunch as they exited the building. As the Sheriff went to search the last of the stragglers, he threw his gun to the ground, with only Hardin’s in hand. Hardin, knowing his pistol was empty quickly retrieved two more from his vest, retreating into the saloon with Jim and the rest of his cohort. Many of the men had only relieved themselves of their primary weapons, as when they exited the saloon, they seemed more armed than when they went in. Cries of the murder were echoing through the square; a lynch mob was already forming. Between the shouting and the crowd outside fighting to gain entry the men in the saloon had to think quickly. They decided to make their break out the side door, making it across the street and mounting a group of hitched horses before a shot could be put to them. 

The Sheriff fought to maintain order but was overwhelmed. The chase began, only to be cut short when men realized the insufficiency of their arms. Hardin made it to his father's, where he met with his brother and Sheriff Carnes. In fear of the mob Hardin decided to make tracks to nearby Round Mountain, about eight miles west of Comanche.

Round Mountain - 2019

From this point on John Wesley Hardin was pursued relentlessly. 

Upon learning of the hanging of his brother and other kin he returned to Comanche to enact his vengeance, only to turn back in what may have been a small bit of wisdom. He was finally tracked down in Florida, three years later. From there he was transported back to Comanche to be tried for the murder of Charles Webb. He was sentenced to 25 years in prison on September 28th, 1878.  After many failed attempts at escape he adapted to prison life, becoming the superintendent of the Sunday School and studying law. 

He was pardoned in 1894 and admitted to the bar. A little more than a year later he found his fate behind the gun, when he was killed at age 42 by Constable John Selman in El Paso. He is buried in El Paso, at the Concordia Cemetery.

John Wesley Hardin’s Grave, Photo by Leo Miletich 2014

For additional reading look to John Wesley Hardin’s autobiography, as well as Mollie Moore Godbold’s articles in The Southwestern Historical Quarterly, titled “Comanche and the Hardin Gang”. 

Proctor Lake has been a destination for fishing and recreation since it was created between the Sabana and Leon rivers in 1963. The Army Corps of Engineers maintains four parks on the lake – Copperas Creek, High Point, Promontory and Sowell Creek Park. Although High Point has been closed to vehicles for some time now there are still more than 10 miles of horse trails and scenic views to hike through.

Aside from High Point all parks offer various kinds of camping, including RV, tent, screened shelter, and group camping facilities. You can make reservations by calling 1-877-444-6777 or by visiting www.reserveusa.com. Sowell, Copperas and Promontory all offer day use areas, as well as swimming beaches. Sowell Creek also has a play area for children at one of it’s swimming areas. There are multiple boat ramps and fishing docks between the parks, including handicap accessible docks like this newer addition to Copperas Creek.

Proctor is stocked regularly with various species of fish and is known as one of the premiere lakes in Texas when it comes to catching Crappie and the Hybrid Striped Bass species. Records from this lake include a 16lb Striper, a 13lb Largemouth, and an 87lb Blue Catfish. 

Along with its fish Proctor lake is home to a diverse range of wildlife, from deer and feral hogs to songbirds and wild fowl. This wildlife has a home among a large array of wildflowers each spring, with Texas staples like Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrushes decorating each of the lake’s parks.  

Speaking of a diverse range of wildlife, in 1985 James “Rusty” Branch discovered a dinosaur fossil site among the Twin Mountains formation of the lake, said to be “among the richest from the Lower Cretaceous of North America”. The species discovered there (recently named the Convolosaurus Marri) is the only example yet found in the world. The fossils are now curated in the Shuler Museum of Paleontology at Southern Methodist University.

[A skeleton formed from the fossils found at Proctor Lake]

Hunting is another activity that brings people to Proctor Lake. Migratory game bird hunting is allowed, requiring permits in some areas (which can be requested in person at the Proctor Lake Office located at 2180 HWY 2861, Comanche TX.) For more information you can visit http://www.swf-wc.usace.army.mil/proctor/Recreation/Hunting.asp.

Hunting isn’t the only sport offered at the lake, P.A.R. Country Club is also located on the lake near Copperas Creek Park and offers a full 18 Hole golfing experience, along with its own bar and grill.

Proctor Lake rests in a rural part of the Cross Timbers region and due to this has darker skies than many parks across Texas. This affords its visitors a view of the night sky not found in many parts of the state. We hope you’ll come visit and find out just how breathtaking it can be for yourself!

Suddenly you’re driven out of that fugue, you’re focused. You take up old and new hobbies, start calling people again. If they’ve known you long enough they’ll understand, it’s the way this life of yours works. Or works you? If they don’t know you that well or don’t understand you’ll make the effort to reconcile. You usually do. They want you in their life even when you forget it. You write off another 2 month episode to being someone who lives on all scales of the spectrum, someone who inundates themselves with the world before reflecting back into it with your own kind of refraction. The price you pay is well worth it. People pay you to pay it.

Inverse catharsis – the process of apprehending, releasing, and thereby attaining, strong and involved emotions.

Inverse catharsis. Pick up one concern to temporarily get away from the last. The immensity takes its toll. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

You’ve told yourself that more than once. You’ve also considered an attempt at learning enough about neuroscience to be the first person to lobotomize the precise parts of existence that are causing you to come up with this idea in the first place.

Laughter to make sense of it all, or at least to make light of its senseless nature. People usually respond well to humor, except for when they don’t. When they don’t.. they really don’t. It doesn’t go over their heads, it goes too deep. Can’t help but laugh. They become part of a joke they can’t laugh at. Just as much as I am. God’s a comedian after all.

Metaphysics and revelatory morality have no right to dictate the laws of the land. Render unto Caesar what’s his, tightly respect the document that helped found and has guided this great country. If following the words of any religious text known to man could have engendered a country as great as ours without the help of the constitution… it had thousands of years to do so. None of them did. I do not condemn having more respect for a religious text than the constitution… but if you allow that respect to overflow into areas where the constitution is the unequivocal authority.. you are not a patriot. You do not subscribe to democracy. You are not an upholder of what people have fought and died for. You are a theocrat. You are a proponent of your own Sharia. You are an exclusionist and you fail to grasp the division of church and state that has allowed our nation to flourish. The word ‘religious’ before ‘belief’ does not exempt it from scrutiny, circumspection, or the equitability we strive for as a country.

That being said this isn’t entirely about religion or the texts those that count themselves as such ascribe to. Nobody acts a certain way because a book tells them to. Nobody does anything because a book tells them to. It didn’t work for Mark David Chapman and it shouldn’t have worked for Hobby Lobby. People take action because they are free moral agents with the choice to do so. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our actions. Not the words we cite in defense of them. You can’t get away with stoning your wife and neighbor for sleeping together because it’s a sincerely held religious belief. Lawyers can’t cite levitical law. It’s indefensible.

When someone says ‘I don’t think I should have to follow the same laws as everyone else because of a sincerely held religious belief’.. They are cowering. They are giving an excuse. They are speaking in ways that may fly on the front porch with polite company on a Sunday afternoon. They are speaking in ways that have no credence in a court of law. They are molesting the most admirable work of human political understanding to ever grace a piece of parchment. This is deception. They may as well be saying ‘because I don’t want to’. That’s the root. A company just circumvented the law and made a mockery of the greatest court in our nation… because they wanted to.

Just got off the phone with a lady representative of ‘the man’ who informed me that I’m officially a fugitive in the state of Texas. I’d like to think they just called to say ‘hey, we feel like playing a big game of hide and seek, now GO!’

A few months ago the damn man arrested me for ‘public intoxication’. Standing under a street lamp the mans representative explained to me this was all happening because him and his buddy had perceived me as being in a mental state where I was ‘a risk to myself or others’. ‘A risk to myself or others’ were his words, so first I thought to ask him which category I fell into. I decided it must’ve been to myself seeing as there was no one within 20 yards of me, so I let it go thinking if they wanted to arrest me for being a ‘danger to myself’ they were about 21 years too late. My second thought was that these men had just diagnosed me of a mental condition from 40 yards away… in the dark.. and without any medical history… So I think you can understand why I was overcome with paranoia, stricken with the fear that I was about to have to face down the two most shrewd and well trained men in the history of human psychology. I’ve read a few books but I knew I was no match. Just so you know these men KNOW that ‘Going home’ is a completely inadequate answer to the question ‘What do you think you were doing?’….. Remembering from just how far away these experts must have come to their conclusion from, I became aware that their eyes may have held superhuman powers, primarily night vision and AT LEAST 4x zoom. I didn’t want to think about x-rays or lasers. My realization of the hopelessness of my situation (being as I’m an imperfect human without superpowers) was reaffirmed by the clicks from the cuffs tightening behind my back. That ‘click’ was like an alarm. Suddenly I saw the look in these mens eyes and realized just how much everybody involved was loving this situation, aside from myself. I felt an air of superiority coming off of these men that convinced me they had to have pissed pure excellence every morning, and on the rare occasion that they did take part in the lowly activity of shitting their impeccably tight anuses must’ve only been capable of ejecting diamonds, which after cleaning would be never spent on themselves and only given to the poorest of children. I hadn’t been to court but it was obvious I had already been judged.

Now I know these men have never shat diamonds. Now I know these men didn’t know much other than they were supposed to arrest 15 people that night (VALENTINES DAY) for public intoxication. Now I know those men didn’t have super powered eyes (big let down) or great intellects but rather they saw a young man walking away from bars without a group to say anything different than what they wrote on their police reports. Now I know that their police department doesn’t get state funding based on convictions but by arrests and that they know most college students who actively go the bars I was at have parents who’d rather pay than take time to defend their children’s actions. In short, I’ve learned a lot from this experience.

I’d like to think of my government as a citizen of the world, as a global representative of it’s constituents collective ethics. I’d like to think that any group that assumes the right to practice and establish law over others inherently accepts that it must have the internal integrity to be able to set an example for its precedents and to practice what it preaches along with being able to punish itself when it fails to. It’s a shame no one can put the government in jail for being such a risk to itself and others. I may have been drunk in public but my government is a fucking crack fiend who doesn’t give a damn who has to burn as long as it can keep finding its fix. Keep getting the fix till the heart quits.

Update: I payed off Denton county to the tune of $1200 last summer. For walking home after drinking instead of driving, for calling it a night at 12:15 instead of 2:30 when all the really drunk people would have provided me ample cover from these faithful servants of society.

For nearly a month last summer, each night as I drifted to sleep I’d find myself on a fixed plane in a dark place where the only illumination came from the objects and the various people that I would encounter. Depth and relative sizes were seemingly nonexistent. As soon as I perceived anything it was as if I saw it for its essence, without scale, without relativity. My legs felt as if they were moving and I felt as if I was in control of them, but at the same time I was just as much under the impression that trying to move or go in any direction other than the one I was heading would be useless. Within these dreams every conversation I had was with a person of wisdom. but my direct awareness of the conversations would somehow go in and out, without consideration of time. There was no chronological sequence in this place, events and ideas were passing only as quickly as I could interpret and understand them – ideas occasionally comprehended and rarely retained. I would wake exhausted, both mentally and physically.

These dreams always found their conclusion with an impression of a man whom I’d found a familiarity for that had the strength to redefine my idea of familiar. The last few nights I’d embark towards this man only to be lost into the day before I had the chance acknowledge him. Each night before I would spot him I would have conversations with many people, some known to me – others who I was only able to listen to before passing. These dreams never ended subtly or expectedly..  always appearing with the surprise of the body I’m inhabiting being involuntarily pulled up and away from where I was and then quickly towards and past this person, when suddenly I would awake. One night after conversing with a man I have come to believe to be my understanding of Socrates, I could feel that my time was at hand as my feet began to be led astray and my body began to dissipate, only for the feeling to reverse and for my feet to once again regain their footing. I was lost and found again in a moment. I was no longer bound. As I traveled I passed piles of broken and burnt bones, some of which were fresh with acridity, others that seemed to have been amassing for eons… I began to gaze through holes and cracks where I could see what at first I refused to believe was gold, diamonds, gems – the finest materials from every corner of the earth. I realized the height of these bones was not from their sheer amount but that they were strewn about on immaculate buildings and on feats of engineering that any architect could only stand in awe of. There was little distinction amid the death but a clear message struck me… Finally passing this, my path gave way to a clearing of bright sage interlaced with blooms of morning glories. I arrived upon a dark skinned man of gentle demeanor and simple attire who seemed to be in his mid-thirties. From a distance he cast compassionate glances on the frail body which I inhabit in these most compelling of dreams. I was astonished and stricken with the strongest of grief when I came close enough to realize his feet were swollen and bleeding, his hands likewise, his sides pierced with jutting ribs and his muscle and sinew in full view between the slashes of whip cuts.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, I asked “Why on earth would a good man find himself in this state? I have seen many men treated in very hateful ways, but there is no comparison between their torments and yours. Deceptive priest, politicians and corrupt judges poisoned the last man I saw; is it by priest and judges that I find you in this cruel state?”
As he prepared to answer our eyes met and I could feel his admission before I could hear the sound -“Yes“.
I felt compelled to ask “Who were these monsters of men?”
His eyes dropped along with his voice.. “These men were hypocrites”
I replied as naturally as if he had told me something I had known all along “With that you say it all, with this single word I understand they must have condemned you to death. Had you shown them, as Socrates did, that the moon was not a goddess, and Mercury by no means a god?”
“No, these planets and universal truths were not of question. These men knew nothing of the planets; these men bathed in ignorance and dried themselves with superstition, although these superstitions bore a different face they were just as empty of truth as the Greeks”
I then asked “Did you try to teach and force upon them a new religion?”
“Not at all; my message was simple–‘Love the world with all your heart and all it’s people as yourself, for that is man’s whole duty.’ Judge for yourself if this feeling that is implanted in your heart is not as old as the universe; ask yourself whether I brought them a new religion. I told them over and over I had not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it; I had seen their rituals; circumcised as they were, baptized as the most devout and zealous among them. Like them I gave my charity; I observed the passover as they did, I ate lamb standing as it was cooked with lettuce. I would often be found in silent meditation, as my friends would join me, my brothers and sisters even went to the temple after my death; in short I followed their statutes completely”
“You tell me these cowards of men could not even claim you as a criminal? These men had no reason for bringing this condition upon you?”
“There is no doubt these men had no reason, as there has never been a reason to bring this condition upon your fellow people”
“Can you tell me their reasons”?
“What do you expect me to say! They were wholly arrogant and entirely selfish. Although their sight was blinded in many ways they could see that I knew them and that I saw through them. This was not the trouble, the trouble was that I was acquainting the citizens with this knowledge. They took away my life; and people like them will always do as much to anyone who does them too much justice”
“But did you truly say nothing? Surely you gave them pretext, surely you gave them what they needed as to justify their actions”
“Must I tell you! In the hands of the wicked any justification becomes suitable”
“Did you tell them even once that you did not bring peace with you, but a sword?”
“That is an error of oral tradition, old positions and ever present greed; I told them that I came with peace and would do away with swords. I have never written a word; what I said may and most assuredly has been changed – either with or without evil intention”
“So you have in no way contributed by words or speeches to the piles of bones I passed before coming to you?”
“It is only in horror that I have watched men become guilty of murder while proclaiming it to be a righteous act in my name”
“These monuments to brash acquisitiveness, these symbols men have drawn to reflect their pride and avarice which I have passed on the road to meet you, do they come from you?”
“It would be an impossibility. I lived with my people in poverty. My wealth came only in the form of virtue, for I have never found material goods as true mediums for the expression of love”

I could tell I had grown much closer to upsetting this man than I had aimed to. Although knowing I had never been given the privilege of knowing the names of the people I had met in this place, I was possessed by the urge to know who this man was.. but when I looked at him he read my anguish and consolingly said “These transcendental mysteries come without name or label…  As will I… As I am not important. When meaning is acquired what you call it and where it’s claimed to originate is irrelevant; when you follow those paths you will be led to confusion.” .. So I asked him, “Can you express to me this meaning? Can you tell me a true religion?”
“I already have. As I told you – in this frame of mind labels are useless. Religion is one distinction that only leads to division and a distancing from real truth and meaning. The word religion itself.. as with many others have only been forged by men in desire of advantage over others. The meaning is simple as I have already told you… Love everything that is outside of you as you must love all that lies within, for they have been and will once again be the same.”
Those words, the meaning of them gave peace. The feeling filled my heart and I awoke with the same peace and an absence of anxiety. When I am troubled I remember that night and I am given a guide to solace.

The Call of Duty series is completely incomplete. Wars aren’t won solely on the battlefield and I want my so called ‘realistic’ video game series to reflect that. Plus I’m running out of gun/perk/kill streak combinations. I’m sick and fucking tired of Price and McTavish. We need something fresh and unconventional. A new frontier in shit-I-can’t-get-away-with-in-real-life gaming. I want a game where I could select, employ and learn what forms of distraction and misinformation it takes to convince 300 million people to keep on keepin’ on with their lives while we blow shit and people up for financial profit and fun. I want a game that can get me as close as possible to the reality of how it feels to convince 240 million people that 4 of their 10 so called ‘commandments’ are more like ‘suggestions’ and that their namesake wasn’t serious at all in those 4 books. I don’t want a kill streak, I want a mind-fuck streak. I want features unlocked for every 100k I convince to stop worrying about other people ‘dying’ (Not that it’s difficult, who cares when it’s ‘other’ people anyway) and to start watching one of the millions of shows I’ve concocted about people who live more exciting lives than them.

I’m serious about the game, I don’t give a shit about what any of that means in ‘real’ life. I just want a more challenging and engaging game. As long as I have a game that explains how all these games are keeping my mind off of other things I couldn’t care less. Out of sight out of mind my people. We have computers capable of god damn anything, yet we’re still stuck on point and shoot virtual reality? Let’s up the ante people, this is America.

Once a new sport reaches a certain size the participating teams see the mutual advantages of becoming a league, standardizing practices and establishing a certain level of uniformity. Competition within an agreed set of parameters allows more efficient expansion and greater growth potential. The sport of politics is an old one. Long ago groups of men gathered in smoke-filled back rooms, consulting the makers of Monopoly and Shoots and Ladders on how they could build the most perfect game – so perfect the players would not be aware of their participation. So perfect the game would constitute and construct itself as an integral part of their reality. So perfect that only it’s overwhelmingly apparent imperfections when coupled with the players prideful belief that they could improve upon them would guarantee it’s continuation. The dice are loaded. Every card that can be flipped has been contrived… but one day my dear friend, just like any game, it must all go back in the box.

Found in a cellar, Poughkeepsie NY, 1989

Son, if you live long enough you’ll get an idea of who it is you want to be and what it is you’d like to do, then you’ll let it live in your tomorrows. You live a little longer and it’ll cross your mind that what’s keeping you from the tomorrow that keeps getting you through your todays is your idea of the ideas other people have about that kind of tomorrow. You’ll realize what I’m telling you to remember; that the world is a thought in your mind. That you’re the interpreter of how you’re interpreted. Don’t let it be you and me, don’t let it be us and them, it is I and I. Son you can bullshit yourself all you want, but you can’t bullshit the universe; you have to listen to what it hears within you.

Citizen – we’ve received information confirming that at this very moment your brain is producing a plethora of illegal substances and contriving a multitude of decidedly immoral scenarios. Please do not panic. We have developed protocol. We urge you to promptly submit to law enforcement along with a socially edifying religious organization. We look forward to your trust and cooperation. This is to prevent the inevitable. This is preordained damage control. This is a proactive display of the power of our prescience. This is the amorphous will of the undefined people. This is about safety. More or less.

the fixations evolve and start to grow

to a plane where I can’t control

the speed or the aggression that intertwines with my role

as a man and a misfit

stuck in between moods and how I don’t quit

pursuing the convoluting parts of my mind that keep renewing

these fears of mortality this manifestation of banality

this civilization will embrace decadence in totality

I can’t escape the knowledge that emanates from my consciousnesses substrate

I can’t depend on determinism and this distractions folly aligns my fate

with the mystics and the magi the unknown that decides when I die

three parts to the whole that sliced pie becomes a pictograph of the moment when the spirit flies

to another place another realm

another attitude at my helm

so i’m sailing off knowing I might go off sinking

this is the word you thought was coming next, thinking

this was the one chance now it’s over

but tomorrow comes with the luck of of the third clover

rearranging the parts of me to start over

the memories that can’t be chopped by the alcohols mower

Linear time is a transgressional oxymoron. Birthdays are irritating. I “turned” nineteen recently. Thats hooker jargon right there. Turnin tricks once a year, est 1989.

Concessions to the proliferation of ambition to materialism and the exponential, existential lack of ambition for knowledge. Xenophobic beliefs embraced by a metemperically clouded skepticism. Acknowledgment of ignorance in its configured mutualistic ambiguity to affluence and arrogance. The continuity of this system and the anamolies explained by theory rather than analysis. Infinite perceptual anarchy.

Tonight I made a decision, and the natural nature of the change of heart adds to its solidarity. I have decided to change my major from law to that of a professor, and what better for a man of so many beliefs to do but to profess them. I know I’ll never want to slow down scholastically, the only irrefutable aspects in life I can find are in the knowledge(s) I acquire. Theres very few a profession I could see myself in and not be considering myself a waste of paint. I could never see myself submitting to the “machine”. I could never turn my head while earning my salary. People that use salary as a basis for what constitutes their day to day lives baffle me. Sure I will still be a cog in the rotation, but I’ll be spinning to my own accord. I can’t just go on along. It is hard to fully appreciate what I have when the feeling of universal responsibility and shame showers over me because I know the weather of fortune ain’t so nice everywhere. I love sleeping in a comfortable bed, in a climate controlled environment, but I’ll be damned if a night has went by when I have not thought of how many people, just like me, human, real, and facing whatever other depravity are out there with no place to lay their head. It is against everything i feel inside my own humanity to stand by looking through true denial to the insurmountable wrongs staring me down on the other side the fence constructed of political correctness and held up by societal taboo. These are the highest threat towards my existence in my own mind. Those things that inhibit my existence in any effect. When I say my existence, i’m referring to our existence as a planet, as a people equally responsible for eachother and our future as a whole. The more we become interconnected, the more ones suffering truly affects another regardless of who you are. Decisions made anywhere at anytime today can easily hold substantial influence on all levels culturally and demographically, concurrently we can no longer only see our day to day lives as all their is without submitting to a damning ignorance. We no longer can have secrets, we are realizing we truly are being held accountable for our actions, no more denying them. Searching for the truth is a much more productive voyage in todays world. This is the “information age” in every aspect. Sociological problems of our government “leaders” instituting their own definitions of deviance in every aspect at our cost and their benefit, health, education, the overwhelming lack of ambition towards progressing the human race as one, and the overwhelming want for personal progress in exchange for the suffering of others. All of these things are becomine more apparent, although our perception is flawed to the degree that we would almost be better off blind than to look through the lens prescribed by society. I just hope to make our vision a little bit better…. all we really have to do is learn to open our eyes.

<<<<<

on the relation between the scale of knowledge and how it is broadening—extending on both the most intellectual and most ignorant level—-as we delve further in one direction, the natural reaction is to broaden the scale. for someone to be more and more knowledgeable, there has to be the comparison of one who has the least amount of mental acumen to constitute the most astute. As we have this reaction, there is a relationship between how this effects mentally. Our intelligence plays a large role in our rationale, we base our decisions and contemplations in life on our knowledge and experience. As we divide our fields of knowledge, basis's of knowledges, and intelligence as a whole, we also divide and make our emotional lives more complicated. Epistemological standards cross into moral standings in waves. Two thousand years ago, a normal man did not have the enormous amounts of life variables that exist today to conflict his decision. He did not know his own brain, he did not have to base his decisions on the decisions and rules of men from ages ago. Our lives in relationship to eachother are like a giant jinga…if we make the wrong move, depending on the size our piece, we can either disrupt only those close to us, or people on a much grander scale….i'm gonna get to the bottom of this

It’s funny how we worship money. The church of First National Bank with an ATM for a confession booth. Bastards put god in my pocket. Fucking A. To think Jesus died to revive the economy once a year. Here we go. We’ve lost any real depth in our own perception. We lack the motivation of life, we have succumb to the consequences we so readily inclined ourselves to default to. Our inspiration is loss-less, our faith is inseparable from our ignorance. When we hear what we know we only dissolve what we came to understand in the first place. When you let your mind ride sometimes you forget your driving. When you scare yourself ya know you come to learn you haven’t even forced your disheveled foot in the doorway. The rabbit hole is deep so they say, i’m real glad i brought a parachute. So lost are we that we have felt every bit as fun and every bit as loud when someone keeps turning down our fucking volume. We accept ourselves, except ourselves accept everyone elses acceptance or it starts getting a lot harder to get laid. See where I’m going, because honestly I couldn’t even tell myself or the sun or the moon chilllin with the ocean what time it is. 28? wha? Do you ever feel lucky? I feel sadistic. Masochistic…ism. I’m playin, i just love those words. My etymology is concise, the rythym got out of prison now i’m staring into A (even looks like a) prism that reflects an ever lucid damn pretty vision. Dammit Isaac B. , sing louder my shit is as high as it will go. Evil home stereo..what good songs do you know???… You know you were the first to make anything last for me that wasn’t present or past.

Universal Healthcare, real fucking close to a socialistic set up.
HUGE decrease in militairy spending
HUGE increase in domestic spending
Bring every goddamn soldier in iraq and afghanistan home. If not, atleast take the guns out of their hands and give them some tools to start rebuilding. How is our army suppose to help "rebuild" iraq with guns. Whens the last time you passed a construction site with a bunch of ladders and M16s?
Stop our impeding imperial presence. We have more people in camoflauge on more parts of the earth than even mossy oak would want. What business do we have in all these other peoples business? Thats like going out in your backyard and seeing your neighbor building a tree house in your tree. How fucked up is that? Then when you tell him to leave, he tells you he’s protecting you, and when you tell him you don’t need his protection he aims his gun at you and tells his children up there that you are a crazy rogue neighbor.
Is it a coincidence that the only countries we arent "cool" with are the ones that we don’t have under our thumb? WTF. GO IRAN!
Fuck Saudi Arabia. Fuck Isreal. Fuck all these people we are in cohorts to "protect". Fuck dependency on foreign oil.
GO T. BOONE PICKENS! the mans an 80 year old genuis. if you don’t know what i’m talking about, look it up.
What happened to the pre world war "isolationism" policy. Wilson had it right.

Now your probably thinking then how are we protecting ourselves against terrorism? The fact of the matter is you can’t stop a bomb from going off in new york when your chillin 3000 miles away. The best offense is a good defense. We have enough men and women overseas to stock up every port, every mile of border, and every immigration office. Those are the places we stop these things. Those are the places these men and women would be much safer to reside in. You think we would have stopped 9/11 by blowing up Afghanistan the summer before it? Those niggas were already here. Then again I don’t believe these bunch of arab dudes with pilot permits and box cutters organized one of largest scale attacks on american soil in american history. It takes a little more empirical knowledge than that bunch had.

My belief is we are going at this war on terror all wrong. Why do they do these things to us? Maybe because we are a hypocritical nation, trying to hide the truth behind every corner, sweeping it under every rug. Maybe because for the past fifty years we have in some way funded every war in the middle east. Maybe cause if it wasn’t for us assholes, the middle east would still be intact. We never chose moral sides, we chose the side that would inflict the most bloodshed. It sounds fucked up, but this is karma. You know how the "terrorist attacks" have been going down in india??? You know why?? The province of Kashmir. The only part of india predominantly islam. Why? because when the good old United States and Great Britian set up the territorial lines of pakistan and india, for some reason they felt that instead of including all of that religion in pakistan, they’d throw a little screwball in there and leave the kashmir province to india, just to fuck with em. Same thing with isreal and palestine. the Gazaa strip. wtf?? They don’t hate what we stand for as americans. They don’t hate our music, our movies, our culture. They hate the fact that this economy has funded a government which has been ass-raping the middle east since we established the state of isreal. They have the right to hate us. If you think we are a 50 state nation your wrong, your forgetting Isreal and Saudi Arabia. We have more of an obligation to protect them than we do ourselves. Why do you think we are making ourselves such a presence there? You think it’s a coincidence that all this "terror" began after we brought upon all this "terror" to their lives? We funded the taliban. We funded Osama Bin Laden. We funded Hamas. The list goes on, and on, and on. We placed all those orginizations there for us to fear. Our nation deliberatly established all of these people for us as an american people to have someone to fear. When the cold war was coming to an end, the old white men were like "wtf???we have no way to synchronize the control of our masses, we gotta make up an enemy!!!".  So begins major conflict in the middle east, with limited u.s. coverage.

Mark my words, if this "war on terror" is ever "done" and we no longer have anyone to fear, there will be a large scale "alien attack" within a decade. You think all these reported ufo sightings over the years to convince the american public of the possibility of these things being imminent hasn’t been intended? Even if there are other transient beings in our vast universe, if they have the abilities to get here, it would be in peace. There is a reason technology is thirty years ahead of what we know. If you think i’m a conspiracist, think of the definition of conspiracy.

Conspiracy- a secret agreement between two or more people((or leaders, nations, etc)) to perform an unlawful act.

Does that sound like a description of me, or just possibly one of the thousands of things our government has tried or has hid from us….If you know all the things they kept out of the history books you should be ashamed too.

I’m done, thats enough. I wonder how many things i mispelled. I hope you get something out of all that. Fish out the goods, but I promise i’m not lying about a thing.

Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings.

Hopefully the alien attack/nwo is imminent cause i don’t want to have to do this alone

My misfortune abounds this weekend. Enough misfortune to strike my mind into writing a journal again, or at least aspiring to keep one. I feel like I have much to say, and so little time to say it, especially after this friday night.

Friday I had some cholos knock in my door and break a beer bottle on my face. Then they pulled a gun out and pistol whipped me when i didnt go down. When they did that I communicated to them I did not wish to die, they could take what they wanted. About 1500$ of material possessions were lost, including 500$ i had ready for rent on the first. Although I am apprehensive to say it, and the words hurt as they come out, I think it did more damage to me personally. Physically, I have around 40 stitches around my face, a head contusion and possible damage to the frontal lobe. Least to say, my mind has been changed immensely, and over the last seventy two hours I have experienced many things many times over that I have never experienced in my entire life. It is more overwhelming than the first time I took six hits of that white fluff lysergic, and for those of you who were with me to experience that, it says alot. I didnt sleep for the first 48 hours following that night, except for on the way driving from angelo to my dads that night for about an hour. I’ve always been able to sleep on the road. When I got home to my dads I sat and played guitar for eight hours..almost all the way through. The further i go, the more i turn to it. It’s like a medicine that I am gaining immunities too. I sure don’t mind giving myself bigger doses of it, my callouses are something to be proud of.  Since this event my minds methodology has completely re articulated itself into a new manifestation of processes. Its like re-learning all of my logical exercise yet it is all coming so familiarly. That is a never ending tangent, but I would rather travel that road when I have better prepared myself for the journey.

These niggas knew it was about to be the first of the month. Fuck em. They sure did a number to my face, but they are a disgrace and their actions only exhibit a cowardice I could never descend to. I’m likely to have a harry potter scar goin down from here on out, but I am lucky to remain blessed with the gift of sight, and even more graced to be alive. Supposedly I got pistol whipped because it jammed. It was not my time to die, of that I am sure.

Along with this change, the cold weather has arrived. It takes some satirically cold air to force me to relinquish the rights to summer, and now it’s chilly enough to make me start thinkin about getting a girlfriend for the comfort. A transcendental experience mentally accompanies the transition seasonally. Summer is over, and so are the feelings we so characteristically as humans associate with it. In my sense of it, I feel that it is time to get down to business, and the lack-luster laziness has ceased. I’ve been methodically going through the motions, academically only doing what I must to get by, my atypical highschool attitude. I was supposed to have left that there. It is behind it now. Thats a legitimate claim, but I’m feelin pretty legit right now. When I return to San Angelo next week to finish the semester, I will be there solely to wait until my obligations are fulfilled and I can leave that dreadful, psyche-draining city. I should not give it a word like wait, that is not correct. Sad to say it takes a beer bottle to the head to knock the sense into me to leave. I’ve been saying I would leave in a year or two, as if something was prohibiting me from doing so immediately. As if it would not benefit me to leave now. No regrets, I’ve done that town in every fucking position possible, and its time to move on. So deeply am i looking forward to new opportunity, and the admittances my mind has yet to allow me to accept, the endeavors I have yet to hear my own mind tell of, and the beauties I have yet to succumb to. Let me be pure, let me be who I was set to be when the world was set to into its eternal animation. I strive not to amaze, but to appall.

Could I tell you of all I’ve thought of the the last few days? I only wish. Could I explain to you what I’ve seen? Only can I do this in a phenomenological way. I could explain to you every physical property of the color blue, but if you were confined to a black and white world it would be meaningless. Only once you look upon this with your own eyes will you understand, and I wish it for many, but there are only few who with knowledge of the occurrence would wish it upon themselves. True understanding is true misunderstanding, you only gain knowledge by letting go of it. I swear it to be a misanthropic experience, optimism is such a trying attitude sometimes, but not much of the time. My mother wants me to talk to a counselor, I’m completely happy within my mind, but that does not entrust someone else would be. I’ve never really willingly let anybody in, not in fear that they would not understand, but in fear of what that understanding could bring about. Time to stop delving.

This weekend I will be traveling to dallas. Thursday through Monday I will be residing at Texas Motor Speedway, god save me. Monday is my 19th birthday, so my father is celebrating it by taking me to a nascar race. I love the man. I want to get in contact with some people in the metroplex while I am there. The next weekend I will be attending the funfunfun festival at waterloo park in austin, I’ll be camping the truck out if anyone is interested. Hundreds of acts, two days and three nights of music, for 50$$$. I cannot express the worthiness put into that money. That is the most bang for my buck i’ll be getting for very long time. Unless I can find some very potent lsd, I would consider that a worthwhile investment for that event. I’ve picked up a pretty strong interest in lsd in the last few months. Much stronger than any interest in any other "inhibitor", a more convincing label for lsd would be a "catalyst" . Would you believe me if I told you I have the capabilities to produce it? Not to actually extract lsd-25, that is being overzealous. Primative hallucinogenics abound. Still derivatives from morning glory and the hawaiian seeds, but not as concentrated. If your scared go to church, if your epistemological take acid. Elevate yourselves! Happiness is only true when shared! thats a lie chris mccandless…you poor lost soul.

The realizations I’ve actualized since my last journals are near infinite. Although I never believed it, I was once a child, and I wouldn’t be half surprised if I still am. This is probably an adequate amount of writing for a first entry, but you do not understand the lengths and bounds i have left to spill, the dam has only a crack in it for now. I leave you, for now.

thats the new one.check it out if your interested in my life.its almost interesting.

next one

You’re a Winter. You very much enjoy your time
alone but do like other people’s company
sometimes. You just need your space. You have a
few priviledged friends who saw past your
colder exterior to find the true you. You can
have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to
admit it) so you could be soft one second then
storming around the next! But over all, you’re
a very pleasant person once people take the
time to get to know you. You’re a good friend
for in-depth talks. You’re very talanted when
it comes to creative things.

What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You’re a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you’re not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your eye color is dark blue. You rely on your logic
solely, and may have more mature interests than
many of your friends and family your age. You
can sometimes also be interverted and lonely
from a lack of understanding with people, and
can be rather frustrated with some types of
folke. Some may describe you as cold and
distant, and you are honest with how you feel
about things.

What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla

Beretta92fs. You’re good. Almost as good as a Sig
but are cheaper. Thats why the US military
chose you. You’re kinda scary.

What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Where do you fall on the liberal – conservative political spectrum? (United States)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Agent Smith, from “The Matrix.”
No one would ever want to run into you in a
dark alley. Cold as steel, tough as a rock,
things are your way or the highway.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent… desire. You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha quizzes i took awhile back but didt feel like puttin on here……comment on em plz

<no one has any room to really complain about much in my mind…even
though i do it, eveyrone does,and it is a complete waste of time. as
humans we are weak….we take to much time on mourning,on thinking
about things in the past that make no difference.remember i do most of
these things to…i jsut hate how we as people are so bad at some
things. or how we consume our lives with things like tv.i dont do
that.i realized tv is pretty much a waste a long itme ago.i watch tv
for world current events,politics,and sports on average probly 2 hours
a week.i hate how we say sorry.we say it to much.im guilty of
this.sorry is a strong word….as in sad about your actions and what
you have done. and i say sorry for stupid shit. also love.we tell
people we love them.even if we dont know anything about them.when we
begin goin out with someone at this delicate age it is ok then to say i
love you to that person because if your goin out you love them?. it
takes awhile to have love for a person.even if u attach quickly.i dont
attach quickly.

also>most people really dont care about you-even some of your closer
friends probably dont care to much.if somthing bad to you happens one
day at school that you really are upset about,tell a friend and they
will either say “sorry” “that sucks man” or somthin of that nature.they
dont really care.then you will catch yourself doin the same thing.one
of your friends tells you baout somthin bad.you feel bad for a
second,but not half as bad as if it happened to yourself…..we as
people are born selfish bastards.you really love someone if you truly
care about them….when somthin bad happens and you worry aobut it all
day…or you cant wait to talk to them about it and console them…you
love them then….and thats when you really care about em.

im tryin to think of more things to complain about.
.
…
……
……..
………..
………………
ok right now im tired of people trying to help a situation that they cant help.they know who they are.thats all there is to it
…………………………………………………….
i just realized how serious of a mood im in right noiw…..i cant take any joke….im bein an asshole almost

i would put lyrics in here but it wont let me paste and i would never
type all of em in here.so thats my complaints and derevitives of the
day.bye

thats the song im listenin to

Hey,
          Its saturday night and i
just got back from Austin for student council. Idk when i wrote last so
im just gonna start of friday i think.  WEELLLL. Friday i got up
at 545 and went up to glenn at 7 so we could get an early start to go
to austin. This all could have happened except for our GREAT sponspor
Ernest Torres didnt get there till 730 so that appropraitly is when we
departed. We went to cornerstop where all my Vatos hang. I got a
burrito or 2. Then we stopped in brady after watchin like an hour of
mean girls on my laptop. We stopped at McDonalds and it was all good
and we got back in the car n listened to my mp3 player. The kids that
went on this exciting school trip WERE Nathaneal “Alternate” Alter,
Peter “PEPE” Perez, Roman “only been in stuco 3 wks” Garcia, Jenny
Cook, Kara Rodriguez, and Gracie Hughston. On the ride up there we
stopped and checked out some bald eagles on the side of the road. that
was grand. then we pretty much got to austin and went to P.F. Changs,
where we saw P.F. sitting next to us. We DID NOT get fortune cookies
that upset me quite a bit because i wanted to know what the chinks
thought about my future. After that we went to our hotel where i was
spose to be able to take a shower,but could not,then was standin in my
boxers chillin when Mr. Torres who is always prepared realizes he has a
sponsor meeting at 7 and we have to leave. So i put on my shirt,
pants,brush my teeth,slapped nathans ass,washed my face,got some
gum,annnd did the happy dance in 2 mins and we left. When we got to the
conference i saw some kool kids from camp then we met up with the cool
kids from lee and went to the main meeting thing. There we sat and
listened to an old man who thought he was completly hilarious talk
about things that the 8th graders also thought was hilarious while i
made fun of  him and talked to grace. He had a girls voice, a
shiny bald head,he was fat,and he talked about stuff that was easy to
make fun of so i had a good time. Then we went to the dance and it
pretty much sucked cept i got 2 hang with some cool kids from lee the
whole time and dance w/ grace. People from summer camp were mad at me
cause i didnt talk to them. sorry. i had people to attend to. then we
had to have this third kid in our room from a school in dallas cause he
didnt have any room with his student council. we got to our hotel,went
n worked out,came back n i took a shower and showed nathan and that kid
up in halo 2 and i was goin to attempt to go to sleep. lets just say
that didnt happen cause nathan and this kid had chemistry and laughed
at eachother till around 3 where as i had been tryin to go to sleep
since 1. then they bullshited and laughed at things that i stopped
laughin at in the 4th grade until about 4 while I was still tryin to
sleep. i got angry but did not show it. Woke up at 7 and woke them up
cause im the responsible one in the group and got dressed n packed my
stuff.  We were 10 mins late to the meetings that started at 9 and
that was great. went to the first 2 or 3 w/ ashton and skipped one then
went to another one with alot of people. we got bandanas in there that
were supposed to be necklaces but im fat and i was the only one that it
didnt fit around my neck so i made a bracelet. Skipped the last
one,rode the elavator. went to chuys where the was a 45 min wait so we
bought a shirt and decided to go to the one downtown where Torres
thought he knew how to get there. he didnt so we ended up drivin around
for an hour and eatin at some mest up mexican place. Then we went to
barton creek mall or somthin like that were everyone said we were gonna
stay an hour and me bein the nuetrall negotiable type that doesnt wanna
make nyone mad said fine. i found grace when we had like 15 mins left n
jenny gracie n kara come up sayin we are leavin now and they wouldnt
stay any longer and that pissed me off. extremely. its good i dont show
emotion. cause i woulda thrown somthin around or jumped off the
balcony. so we were walkin back and my body realized that i was turning
into asshole mode and i needed to get away from nathan jenny gracie n
kara or i was gonna piss em all of with somthin i would say. so my feet
took me where my body knew wasnt the right way. i went outside n blew
off some steam. then they realized they mightve made me mad n called n
asked if i wanted to stay longer wich was bullshit cause i had already
lost grace n all them. so i said nooo lets leave cause its what yall
just had to do.so i walked from the parking lot and stood by the car
watching them wait for me at the entrance. then finally roman came up
and then they called again and i told em i had been waitin for em to
come for like 15 mins. i was angry so i listened to hard music for
around an hour very loud and didnt talk to anyone cause i wouldve said
somthin very mean and very funny and i dont wanna make people mad so i
just listened to music. ive learned how to
avoid pissin people off with my bad moods.all thanks to my mp3 player
and my bodys intuition of when i get mad wich is very rarely. so we
basically came back to angelo and that was it. but i got mad today and
that ruins anyday cause i get mad like once a month. so basically the
trip was ok, i didnt learn anything,but its ok cause its not normal for
me to learn anything nyway. I didnt get to spend half the time i wanted
to w/grace but maybe we can do somthin tommorow cause we wont see
eachother again till after thanksgiving. but it was a good overall 2
days cause of the food maybe. i’ll say the food.and meeting new
people.im bein optimistic right now. anyway this is a long ass entry
intrically depicting in vivid image my weekend. later kids i’ll write
again when i feel it.

nite or w/e

        Hey its been 12 days i think
since i have accumulated the energy to write in this.so i will today
becuase of my critics pressuring me to do so.

Today is monday november somthin. and my life hasnt dramatically
changed too much since last time i persuaded myself to enter some
thoughts in here last time. last week was normal. school.hurt my back
again.hung with my love grace at ROsas.then the rest of the week was
more bs school. BUT this weekend was great. friday i crashed girls nite
out cause i didnt realize they havnt accepted me as one of there own.
THEN saturday i spent all day with grace in SONORA. we went to this
awesome gay guy larrys house with every type of exotic game you could
think of.he had tusks.yes elephante tusks. and a table made out of an
elephant ear.he ahd stools made out of elaphent feet. he had zebra
skins,lions,tigers,and bears. eveything. then tech lost.me and graces
dad talked about it.mostly looked at the floor. they ended up winning 2
guns wich was awesome.and we had about 8 eighteen packs of C2 to carry
to the car. we played in the playground for awhile even tho it was
cold.we walked around the parking lot.tons of fun.but the ride back was
the best part cause grace just fell asleep in my arms and shes so
beautiful when shes sleeping…..
just gonna skip sunday cause nothin happens on sundays.today was
normal.had boyscouts.so much fun.tonite me and grace had a wonderful
conversation as allways and even thought of a song.she means alot to
me.more than any girl i htink ive ever went out w/before so its cool.
this weekend i go to AUSTIN for STUCO  and that will be awesome
cause grace is goin and we get to hang out out of town again!. so that
wiill be jsut 2 much fun. well that was my quick entry cause i have
nothing to bicker about in this chaotic world.cept school cause glenn
is like a round concentration camp without fences.

nite. B.T.W.!!!!!!!!!!!I LVOE GRACE AND WANTED TO BE COOL LIKE HER!!!!

Today is my birthday, November 3. Today president bush got his office
again. Does brandon care? no not at all. i’m sorry mr.bailey if i have
a bad attitude.maybe i realize im 15 years old and that my opinion
doesnt really matter, no matter how many times i tell the rest of my
class i am leaving the country if bush doesnt win(for all of you who
said that i say that was stupid,because the rest of the world doesnt
support bush half as much as there would have still been in the u.s.
for the republican party) if you would have moved, you would have been
in more danger than if you were in the u.s. unless it was britain cause
tony blair supports bush. or canada cause they dont give a flying fuck
what is happenening. stupid canadians.yeah i said it. stupid effin
canadians like mr. bailey who thinks he can correct my way of saying
quebec.go to hell you ass.  Otherwise, today was great cause i got
to watch tv in all my classes cause the teachers tried to instill some
political creativity in our oh so fragile minds. We watched kerry
accept defeat, and bush declare his glorious victory. woo hoo. again i
didnt care. and i didnt say YESS!!!! when bush won. i woulndt have said
no or yes if either of them had won. the only reaction you would have
seen from me is either if al sharpton won id laugh and say 10 points
for the black man, or if kerry would win id like to see the 50+ kids in
my freshmen class who said they would move if he won. hes not a bad
guy. id rather hang out w/bush of course, but kerry isnt that bad.
there both a gaint deusch and a turd sandwich if you watched southpark,
i am kyle, the kid who doesnt care about who wins, and realizes my vote
wouldnt have mattered. I was also tired of  people sayin things
they didnt know about during the last 2 months. no kerry couldnt have
pulled out all the troops if he won.and no bush isnt that stupid. he
just is slow sometimes. but then again who isnt. bein president of the
best country in the world isnt easy. i watched kids get way into and
pumped up about something that if they would have opened there eyes
would have seen that wow texas is goin to bush no matter how many
shirts I make that say “kerry is scary” or ellens great show of opinion
with her shirts. she was like the only one with a kerry shirt and i
salute her for showing an opinion, whether i disagree with it or not. I
got to see just how stupid some students at john glenn junior high are
in the months leading up to the election, when everyone in your second
period class goes “YES!!” when bush wins texas in the channel one vote,
i realized i was sourrounded by people who just had a momentary lapse
of reason. who do you think texas was gonna go to? the powerrangers?.
retards. or did you know no matter how hard u yell at it the people in
the tv arnt gonna hear you, so it doesnt matter if you say yay or not.
You may think that cause i said this i am supporting kerry, and thats
not wats goin on homies. if i lived in massachusetts where kerry is
from, and would have been sourrounded by kids that supported him the
same way, id be writin the same damn thing in here. just about them. i
wouldnt have voted in this election, i wouldve gone and lifted, or
something that matters like that. actually i did do that. i got home,
checked wat the electoral votes were, because if i didnt my mom woulda
screamed at me, then i called grace and turned the tv off cause i kept
tellin myself the things i read off the tv.  then i didnt look
again till the morning where my mom was watchin fox news.bush had
already had it by then pretty much. did i care…..no! i continured
makin my life cereal.  my mom is a democrat so i think she was
goin for kerry or somthin. did i care? nooooo…………and all you
people that thing democrats are stupid, you have probably met my mom
and love her……so shove it. democrats are people too. my mom calls
me as an indepenent with so many opinions that i couldnt be one or the
other. she said if i was id probly be considered a liberal republican.
do i know why? no. My moms like the sweetest lady i know. and she is a
democrat. im tired of people (Coff coff) jeff kocurek sayin that just
because or your political validity you are a bad person, if you said
that you would be roughly saying that 48% of america is one big bad
person.people down here dont understand that there is a whole nother
united states up there. they have different beliefs yet still share the
same cultural and social traits as us.they are jsut as good of a
person.  your political denomination does not determine your
outlook on life or your state of mind. thats like sayin if your a
protestant that catholics are all bad people. its all a confused
congression of people thinking they know what they are talking about
and anyone who says anything esle is wrong. I’m tellin you right now i
know more about politics than most people oour age and i know more
about current events than most. do i flaunt my personal political
opinions…no….do i make shirts?.,. no ….. if i started saying
things in class people would get mad because either im not a good
enough bush supporter, or that i would vote for john kerry just because
i have duel points of view and see both there sides. i agree with
things from both canidates. the thing i dont agree on is the
degradation and the mudslinging that went on in this campaign . they
both needed to grow up. retards.if i had to vote, it would be bush
cause id say let him finish what he started. no other reason. i believe
in abortion cause i aint a women and i dont know the situation. id
rather someone not live than live a horrible life as a foster kid. i
would know how these things turn out. i live at the boys ranch. i live
broken homes. i know how it is to be raised horribly by people who
havnt even grown up themselves, if you had seen and known some of the
things that i have you might also think my way. I was initially against
the war because i dont by instinct hit someone unless they hit me or my
friends. that was a big metaphor sayin that i dont attack someone 
unless they have really messed with me. and im not gonna beat up the
guy that gave the kid a dollar to hit me. as in osama getting supported
by iraq. we waste to much money on those funny little people. but now
obviously i am for the war cause we have to finish wat we start, and
get ourselves and the rest of the world out of this. Hopefully have a
greater more established union in iraq.dont jump me cause i dont feel
like wastin billions of dollars on people who think its cool to ride
camels and wear towels on there heads. now afganistan was completly
different. is there anything good there? nooooo. we shoulda nuked the
shit and got it over with.actually no. we should have done exactly wat
we did. good job mr bushy. remember this is all my point of view. done
get pisssed off cause of what im sayin. dont say somthin unless its
nice. but mr bush did some good htings…..and some bad things….but
al gore…oh just look at his name…it looks more like road kill than
a president. wat a deausch. i woudlnt have voted for him even if i
coulda seen him without his tupea.  so bush definitly was the best
choice for the last 4 years. wow this is a long thing. b u t i woulda
loved to see the look on peoples faces if kerry woulda won. i wouldnt
have been real happy about it. but the first day woulda been hilarious.
watchin all those kool kids that were gonna move.woohooo.well didnt
happen.but people in america that supported kerry and hate bush alot of
em or supposedly gonna move to canada. ok go fer it if your that
imatture that you cant deal with a loss, obvisouly your fellow
americans liked bush more, so tuff it out for the next 4 yrs.hillary is
gonna win in 2008 anyway.im not even gonna get started on those
dysfunctional clintons. sounds like a sitcom. well anyway.bush won.good
job at spending enough money to feed every person in our country for a
day on political campaigns in the past couple of months.im proud of my
homedawg frmo tehas.wat a haus.i wanted to be that guy, that after
kerry lost came up and said….”Why the long face John?” oh man im
mean. he was a good loser tho.like brodie said he shoulda ran off the
stage sayin but he still has a rich wife. bush 2004-2008.till i
graduate he will be my el presidente. cool beans. hes a aweosme vato.
nite homies. glad u read it. l a t e r

there is me…a pic of me in journalism…thats 7th period and i hate school by then…i think shea took it…horrible scanner…..neways there is me

hey…its been awhile…alot of stuff has happened since august 10th and i dont really feel like explaining all of it…cause most of u pretty much know other than all those kids from other places that just look at this.well i have nothin better to do…so i will try to rememember….School has been well…school..nothin really exciting about that…lets see what did i do..umm Zac n  Doug had there concert i think like the first week of school maybe…that was pretty awesome..they are some talented kids for only bein freshmen..the next weekend i went to a boyscout camp out and did normal boyscout stuff that aint spose to leave the camp…then had a football game or 2 a movie or 2 normal stuff…then i think it was last weekend we had pat green…and that was just pretty badass…then this friday we had a bobcat game…that was pretty fun…then i went to brodies and we messed around walkin around till like 5 in the mornin….and then brento aka duke of earl came over n we fished with no luck and then today we just screwed around….then i took him home…what an exciting weekend. I started goin out with nichole rae nabozny like almost 2 wks ago…and shes everything ive really ever wanted in a girl…its an awesome thing to have someone like her…i am a very lucky guy to have her as mine…i think about her all the time and i dont ever want to let her go…well i just took 2 benedryl and im zoning out so im gonna go…gnite friends

First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living if you don’t have a dick?

ok theres the explanation of the smurfs for those who need it.

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

entracing eh?

][Basically Basic][

Name-Brandon MAngan

Age-14

Birthdate-11/03.89

Hair Color-browndark

Eye Color-blue green n evry other color associated weith those

Screen Name-mangan1189

[]Yes Or No[]

Do You Brush You Teeth Every Morning?-yeshhur

Do You Have A Cat?-ye

Do You Have A Dog?_yen

Do You Live In An Apartment?kinda

Do You Like Ashlee Simpson?_i wanna lala on the kitchen floor

Do You Like Pepsi?-ye

Is Your Favorite Cereal Fruit Loops?-one of em

][Current][

Time-1119

Date-7th

Clothing-tshirtshorts

Mood-bad

Instant Messaging-karen missy tessa

Talking On The Phone To-no one

Song-dispatch the general

 Movie/TV show-varsity blues idf i could choose

Eating-notun

Drinking-nothin

[]Last[]

Person You Talked To-idk

Person Who Talked To You-idk

Word You Said-fuck

Person You Instant Messaged-karen

Person Who Instant Messaged You-missy

Time You Didn’t Sleep Until 7am-week

Time You Wanted To Go To School-last yr

Time You Ate-5

Time You Drank-hr ago

Thing You Wrote-hr ago

Book You Read-the testament

][Have You Ever][

Been To California-no

Eaten A Kiwi-yea

Been To Boston-np

Been Camping-yea

Stayed Mad At Someone For Over A Month-no

[]Favorites[]

Movie-varsity blues

Book-outsiders

TV Show-fammly guy

Time Of Day-nite

Color-black

Food-mood

Animal-wolf

Place-w/ friends

there…

Category I – The Hub
You’re a ‘people person’. Networking runs in your
blood. Consequently, you can move through most
social circles with ease.You could be in any social group and fit in.You are smart enough to manipulate almost anyone if you try hard enough./While doing this you can still be a great friend to whoever needs you at the time.Ever seen the show “Pretender”?.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

is that wat brandon is?

Take the quiz: “What High School Stereotype Are You?”

Skater
You’re a skater. Skating is you life and it’s what you do best. Nothing else really matters to you besides grabbing your skateboard and having fun.

haha im a skater and i havnt picked up a board since 6th grade…..fuck i guess thats kool tho.

01]
five songs you know by memory
01 | way to many of em….konstantine-something corporate
02 | ender will save us all-dashboard confessional
03 | timberwolves at new jersey-takin back sunday
04 | starstruck-yellowcard
05 | Dynamite Hack-Boys IN Tha hood(ur listenin to it right now)

five things you can’t live without:
01 | god

02 | music

03 | friends
04 | famly
05 | my inhaler…..

top five locations i want to run away to:
01 | neuschwenstein,germany
02 | belfast-ireland
03 | cali
04 | anywhere in texas
05 | eurotrip

name five bad habits you have:
01 | snappin my fingers
02 | used to spit to much
03 | bein a smartass but i love me
04 | crushing on girls at other schools

05 | fuckin around in general
name 5 random facts about yourself:
01 | im very doublejointed
02 | i can pop my shoulder out whenever i want
03 | im white
04 | im irish
05 | i like the music

name 5 random facts about your family:
01 | divorced
02 | only child
03 | i have black cousins
04 | i have mexican aunts n uncles
05 | im irish


ever fallen for your best friend? um yeah yeah
made out with JUST a friend? didnt know her name, and yes.
been in love?nnope
been in lust? yea
done something you regret? yeah yeah

last person…
you touched? mom

you talked to? mom
you hugged? mom.
you instant messaged? sympho

you yelled at? i havnt yelled in like a yr
you had a crush on? current
do you colour your hair? omce
have tattoos? nope
piercings? not
have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? haha no

floss daily? evry other
own a webcam? no
ever get off the damn computer? amazingly, yes.
sprechen sie deutsche? all the time
habla espanol? a lil

considered a life of crime? no.
are you psycho? maybe
schizophrenic? a little
obsessive? no such thang 
obsessive compulsive? im a detail person

anxiety? a lil

if you could be anywhere, where would you be? with someone
what are you listening to? boys in the hood white version
current clothes: shorts n a tite wite tshirt 
current hair: how it is
current desktop picture: incubus
[02]
001. my name is: brandon

002. i may seem: like a cold hardass

003. but i’m really: a deep intellectual person:)
004. people who know me think i’m: idk
005. if you knew me you’d probably: be my friend
006. sometimes i feel: smart

007. in the morning i: say fuck
008. i like to sleep: on my stomach with my arm under my pillow
009. if i could be doing anything right now: umm alot of things.making out while skiing down a very nice mountain
010. money is: something i wish i had more of
011. one thing i wish i had is: an understanding of things
012. one thing i have that i wish i didn’t: issues with my dad
013. what i don’t need:stupid people
14. if i had one wish it would be: i had a few more
015. love is : somethin im waitin for
016. my body: needs muscle.lots.
017. if an angel flew into my window at night i would:talk to her
018. if a demon crashed into my window i would: kick his mother fuckin ass tie him up and ask him some things

019. if i could see one person right now it would be: you know who
020. something i want but i don’t really need is:good question
021. something i need but i don’t really want is:idk
022. i live for:music and friends and god and other things
023. i dare you to: hit me

024. i am afraid of: never finding true love
025. it makes me angry when: i try my best and dont succeed
026. i dream about: things
027. i daydream about: worldy thoings
028. my ideal mate would:be someone like me
029. my ideal life would be:idk yet
030. one thing i know that i will never be able to do:stop takin  surveys
031. if i could change one thing about myself physically:more muscle.ive got a big nose
032. i am disappointed with: people
033. i am elated with: things sometimes

Hey GUYZ. I havnt written in here in awhile….like seriously written nyway.

well im bored and so im gonna write in here.not alot has happened in my lifew that was too dramatic lately.i went to georgia for 5 days.did some stuff.bought 4 hurley shirts.yes i have like 25 of them now…i’ll count wen i get home cause  right now im in wacooo.tommorow i am goin back to san angelo.get t o c evrybody tommorow hopefully if i get to textbooks n tours in time.i should.

K I AM DOING LOTS N LOTS OF SURVEYS ON THIS ENTRY PAGES OF THEM SO READ IF U WANT.

 

–YOU & THE BASICS–                              
Name:  Brandon Mangan

Birthdate: Nov 3rd
Age: 14

Eye color: blue-green-grey-hazel-changes alot

Hair color: dark brown

height:5″ 9′

weigt:155

Describe yourself: confusing

Nervous Habits? snappin my fingers

Are you double jointed? haha yeah everywhere
Can you roll your tongue?yea

Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yea

Can you blow spit bubbles? yea

Can you cross your eyes? yes

Tattoos? i want one
Piercings and where? nope

Screename: mangan1189






–DO YOU–

Type with one hand only? wen im on the fone

Wear the same piece of jewelry everyday? yeah my necklace w/cross

Twirl your spaghetti or cut it?i dont know

Usually approach your crush or keep it low?approach cause nothin happens if u dont

Write with your right hand or left? Right

Carry more than 10 dollars with you on an average day? if you know me u know i carry too much moneyHave a swimming pool? kinda

Sing really well? haha my name is brandon

Stay at the computer more than an hour at a time on average? yeah

Wear thongs everyday? all the time,all the time
Like rock music? yes yes

 

–EITHER/OR–

Rock or rap? rock usually

Coke or pepsi? dr.pepper

Straight or curly? straight

Guy friends or girl friends? girls by far until i get tired of em

Guitar or drums?  i play guitar….i wanna play drums tho

Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla

Mustard or ketchup? ketchup

Beach or mountains? Mountains cause i love skiing
Beef or chicken?depends

Me or you? me

Boxers or briefs? boxers

 

 

–CURRENT–

Clothes? boxers

Taste? gum

Smell? air

Hair style? no style

Music? Something Corporate-Konstantine

Perfume/cologne? cologne to get the feeling rite

Nail color? none

Crush? yea

 

–CLOTHES–

Where do you shop: Pac Sun n Old Navy mainly

What do you usually wear:this is brandon:Hurley Shirt,old navy cargos,hurley belt,fossil watch gunmetal,and some black n white shoes.

What kind of shoes do you wear: haha some black n white lugz rite now

Do you wear a watch:evryday

Color you never wear: yellow

Color you wear at least once a week:umm white maybe

Something you wear everyday:watch n necklace

Do you wear make up everyday:yep all the time

Most cherished piece of clothing:hurley belt

You wouldn’t be caught dead wearing:any kind of tite pants/shorts

Do you wear belts:if i dont my pants fal off

Do you wear hats: yea

How many pairs of shoes do you have:probly like 5

 

 

next one

 

 

<3_ Basics _<3
name- Brandon
age- 14
location-San Angelo
gender- Male
eye color- blue green gray hazel changes
hair color- dark brown

fears-losing friends
<3_ Have You Ever _<3
called 911-yea
had a dream come true- yes

had a wish come true- kinda

broken someones heart-not that i know of
had ur heart broken- not really

had a boyfriend/girlfriend- yeah
told someone how u feel about them- Yeah

<3_ School _<3
where do u go to school- Glenn Junior High

wuts ur favorite subject- english n history

wuts ur school colors- green n white
wuts ur school mascot- bobcat this yr

wut grade are u in- freshmen
<3_ Favorites _<3
restaurant- texas club in riodose nm
sport- Football….n alot of others
hobby- music,skiing,paintall,cars
movie- Varsity Blues!
holiday- Christmas
place in ur house- my room by far
color- black
drink- dr.pepper

snack- saltine crackers
time of day- nite
tv show- dunno

<3_ The Last _<3
person u imed-tessa

person who imed u- chris
place u went- downstairs!

thing u ate- chicken

thing u drank- Milk..
person u hugged- dont know

person u yelled at- havnt yelled in a while
person who called u- dunno
person who u called- lauren
<3_ This OR That _<3
salt OR pepper- pepper
bbq OR regular- Regular..
pink OR blue- depeds
blonde OR brunette- Brunette..
sugar OR spice- Sugar
rap OR rock- Rock..
camping OR boating- i boat when i camp
skateboarding OR surfing- surfin cause ive nevr done it

 

next one

[ When was the last time you..]
Smiled : a few mins ago
Laughed : on the fone with lauren

Cried : october
Bought something :yesterday some dairy queen chapsticks
Danced :long time ago
Were sarcastic : last time i spoke
Kissed someone : 2 months almost
Talked to an ex : today
Watched your favorite movie :2 wks almost
Had a nightmare : atleast a yr

Were lulled to sleep by the thought of someone : haha o dont kno if ive done that exaclty
[ A Last time for everything.. ]
Last book you read : The law of the Tao or somthin

Last movie you saw : notebook

 But movie in theaters.. notebook

Last song you heard: Timberwolves @ new jersey-Taking Back Sunday

Last thing you had to drink: coke
Last thing you ate : chicken

Last time you showered: today

[ Body ]
What do you most like about your body: eyes
And least: stomach
How many fillings do you have : dunno

Do you think you’re good looking : so sexy….haha
Do other people often tell you that you’re good looking: lately for some wierd ass reason
Do you look like any celebrities : once got told i looked like fred durst when i had a hat on backwards and once mark hoppus when my hair was longer n i had it spiked
[ Fashion ]
Do you wear a watch : everyday
How many coats and jackets do you own : 3 jackets n coats and like 4 hoodies
Most expensive item of clothing:dunno

What kind of shoes do you wear :black n white lugz n flipflops
Describe your style in one word :comfotorble

[ Friends ]
Do your friends ‘know’ you :yeah kinda
What do they tend to be like :i dont know for sure u tellme

Down to Earth:yeah
Are there traits in you that are universally liked : yeah i think
How many people do you tell everything to:dunno wat evrything is

[ Other ]
Favorite band ever: incubus.probly.overall nyway
Most listened to bands :incubus,taking back sunday,yellowcard,dashboard,metallica.

Do you find any musicians good-looking :avril n britney r cute
Can you play an instrument : yeah piano n guitar

Type of music listened to : emo punkrock metal country a lil rap
Type never listened to : least like is disney music
Favorite book : outsiders by s.e. hinton
[ General Questions ]
Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment: sooo me.. i dontk now
What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day : Sunny
Do you consider yourself lucky : im irish wat do u fuckin think
Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide :if they had an unchecked mental illness a little…but if they didnt i have none at all for those people who quit at life
Choose one word to describe how you feel most often:intellectual

[ Stuff ]
Do you own any plaid clothing : yeah i htink
Do you own Converse shoes : No
Do you own Saucony shoes : Nooo….
Do you own old school Nikes : haha yeah
Do you wear tight pants : no no no
Is there more than one zipper in your pants : yeah
Do you know what a squatter flap is : hahahaha 
Do you own a messenger bag : no wtf
Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest :wtf
Do you own braces :how do u own them…and no
Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth :probbly use a knee one this yr in footballl if it gets bad

Do you have short, shaggy hair : No
Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches: No
Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon :oh yeah…its homicidal
Do you think mohawks are “neat” :sure do
Is your hair black or red : i want it to be black….
Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye :yeh forgot wat its called but ive got some at home
Do you own a bandana :lots
Do you wear plugs in your ears : ha..no
Are you amused by safety pins :haha yeah i stick emm in the calouses on the palm of my hand
Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute:no but for many other thigns like shoes
Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them : one
Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip Service, or Tiger of London :wtf
Do you enjoy leopard print : all the time foo….no
[ Habits/Beliefs ]
Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything) : no
Are you an anarchist : haha kinda
Does the American flag anger you : noit makes me feel good
Are you “working class” : i will be mauybe
Do you dislike “preps” : i hate labels
Do you dislike Hot Topic :not really
Do you smoke cigarettes :not anymore
Do you smoke cloves :hahahaha….u evr seen som1 on that hhaha
Are you a thin waif : no
Are you a vegetarian?: no
Do you think meat is murder :yeah ur killin somthin but it sure does taste good
Do your nighttime activities usually involve drunken underage vomiting :haha i dont puke from that usually
Have you ever slept in an alley or park : haha yeah a park once…..it was fun

Do you wash your hair less than once a week : evry day im not nappy shit
Have you ever gone a week without a shower:not that i kno of
Have you ever been avoided due to your odor : no i smell good
Do you know who Jack Kerouac is :he prollymade this
Do you like Mr. Kerouac : love him to death

Should Mumia Abu-jamal be freed from prison : thats for the courts to decide
Are you a member of the Makeout Club : hano
Do you say “rad” : haha somtimes used to

 

next one

 

First best friend: some kid named phillip in kindergarden
First real memory of something: dont kno
First car: dunno
First date: dont really call it adate foo

First real kiss: summr of 7th(realkiss ppl)

First break-up: like5th grade bs
First job: construction worker
First screen name: lilsmasher1189

First funeral: some guy i barely knew
First pets: rico dog
First piercing/tattoo: dont hav one
First credit card: used my dads when he couldnt figure ir out
First true love: not yet fool

First enemy: hhahaha i dunno
First big trip: dont know maybe colorado

First musician you remember hearing in your house:classic rock im sure
Lasts.
Last cigarette: may
Last big car ride: a few days ago
Last kiss: almost 2 months
Last good cry: nevr had a good cry but october

Last library book checked out:17 against the dealer and i still havnt found it
Last movie seen:notebook

Last beverage drank: coke

Last food consumed: chicken
Last crush: like b4 this one….last time was more than a crush
Last phone call: lauren
Last time showered: Earlier..
Last shoes worn:flip flops
Last cd played: havnt played a cd in awhile

Last item bought: chapstick!
Last annoyance: laugh n it hurt cause im sore
Last disappointment:dont know

Last soda drank: coke
Last time wanting to die: nevr
Last time scolded: i dont really get scolded anymore

Last shirt worn:blue hurley

Last website visited:the Xanga where I got this survey..


((..:*You*:..))

 

::*Birth name*:: Brandon Kyle Levi Frantum Mangan
::*Age*:: 14
::*First breath of air*:: Nov 3 1989

::*Astrological Sign*:: Scorpio
::*State currently living in*:: Texas

::*State born in*:: Texas

::*Hair color*:: Dark Brown

::*Eye color*::u already know if u looked at the otha ones

::*Length of hair*:: short

::*Is it your natural hair color?*:: Yess!

::*Do you have freckles?*:: like 2 on my arm

::*Do you wear glasses or contacts?*:: neither

::*Any birthmarks?*:: back of my head

::*Did you know that birthmarks are where angels kissed you when you were born?*:: no

::*Piercings?*:: no

::*Tatoos?*:: no…..

::*Any siblings?*:: none

::*How old are they?*:: …

::*Do you get along with them?*::
::*Are your parents divorced or together?*:: divorced


::*How often do you fight with your parents?*:: they dont fight with me they know imgonna win
::*Any family pets?*:: yeah

::*Whats one thing that people should know about you?*:: im wierd

 

((..:*Favorites*:?))

 

?*Clothing brand*? Hurley

?*Soda*? Dr.Pepper
?*Color*? Black n red

?*Movie*? Varsity BLues

?*Actress*? Jessica Biel
?*Actor*? Keanu Reeves

?*Candy*? m&ms
?*Food*? steak
?*Saying*? kool,ok,thats good

?*Cuss word*? FUCK

?*TV Show*? dunno

?*Singer*? Brandon Boyd, Chris Carreba

?*Rapper*? WHo mike Jones….Nah eminem or 2pac

?*Band*? Incubus,Yellowcard,Dashboard,Takin Back Sunday,BLink 182

?*Place to clear your head*? my room layin down with musics and lites dim

?*Ice cream flavor*? nilla
?*Mall*? biggens

?*Type of makeup*? covergirl!!!!
?*Car*? 69′ Yanko Camero,65′ Shelby Mustang Gt 500,79′ Corvette,1993 Mitsubish 3000 GT V8 Twin Turbo AWD
?*Song*? 3178 of em

?*Number*? 21
?*Place to vacation*? colorado,new mexico

?*Person to be around*? friends
?*Boy name*? STEVE

?*Girl name*? lauren

?*Video game*? Link on regular nintendo

?*Disney movie*? Lion King

?*Disney character*? Simba

?*Channel*? FuSe

?*Radio station*? dont listen to it much

?*South Park character*? Cartmen

 

 

((..:*Lyrics*:..))

 

**

::*Britney Spears*:: “Everytime”

::*Maroon 5*:: “She will be loved”

::*John Mayer*:: “Your Body is a Wonderland”

::*Jason Mraz*:: “Remedy(Won’t Worry)”

::*Emienm*:: “cleanin out my closet”

::*Lloyd Banks*:: “on fire”

::*50 Cent*:: “21 Questions”

::*Christina Aguilera*:: “Genie in a bottle!”

::*Story Of The Year*:: “Anthem of our Dying DayUntil the day i die”

::*Linkin Park*:: “BREAKIN the habit”

::*The All American Rejects*:: “Swing Swing,Paper Heart,Last SOng”

::*Jojo*:: “Leave or w/e”

::*Dream*:: “dont know”

::*Relient K*:: “Mood Rings”

::*Ok Go*:: ok No i dont know

::*Coldplay*:: “Scientist”

::*Phantom Planet*:: “california”

::*Yellowcard*:: “to many…..Rough Draft,Ciggerette,Something Of Value,SureShot,StarStruck,Rockstar Land,Empty Apartment,Ocean Avenue,Underdog,Powder,Avondale so many more…..”

::*Madonna*:: “LiKe A vIrGiN”

::*Limp Bizkit*:: “Break Stuff”

::*Joe Budden*:: w t f w t f 

 

 

((.:*Love n Relationships*:..))

 

?*What is your current status?*? single

?*Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?*? uhh repetative maybe

?*How long have yall been together?*? ^^^

?*What is the most romantic thing your lover has done for you?*? hahhaha

?*What is the worst pick up line you have ever heard?*? haha to many

?*In your own words, how would you describe love?*?

“this is incredible, starving, insaciable, yes this is love for the first time” chris Carreba’s words
?*What is the thing you need most in a relationship?*? Trust & Honesty?

?*What is the most attractive thing about the opposite sex?*? cute

?*True or False: All is fair in love and war?*? no
?*In your opinion, what is the most romantic movie?*? haha i dunno….

?*Are you shallow when it comes to physical appearance in a relationship?*? a lil cause evryone is

?*How do you know if youre really in love with someone?*? you will know…
?*Does love really last forver?*? if it is love it may but i have not lived long enough to say so
 

 

((..:*Friends*:..))

 

::*What is the best thing about friendships?*:: people are there when you truly need them

::*Describe your friends*:: awesome…thanx guys

::*What is the best part about them?*:: they are there for me to do somthin with

::*Which of your friends has known you the longest?*:: brodie prolly

::*What about the shortest?*:: i dunno
::*Were you one of those kids who used to exchange friendship bracelets?*:: haha OK no
::*What do you and your friends like to do?*:: circle jerks…ha no hang out normal friends stuff

::*What is the funniest moment you can remember with your friends?*:: lol i dunno

::*What do you think can break up a friendship?*:: alot of things

::*Would you ever ditch your friends over a guy/girl?*:: haha yeah my friends understand cause we’d all do that for eachother!!!

::*What is the worst thing you can think of that could break up a friendship?*:: kill you

::*Have you ever lost one of your best friends over an argument?*:: you cant lose a best friend like that…unless you are so immature you cannot work out an acceptable solution to both partys

::*What is the hot spot where you and your friends hangout?*:: events
::*Out of all of your friends, who is the loudest?*:: ha ha ha i dunno

::*Funniest?*:: chris or colton!

::*Most athletic?*:: ethan prolly

::*Most ?girly girl??*:: dunno
::*Most flirtatious*:: ummm i dunno

::*Most competitive*:: i dont know im competitive but all my friends are so we fight alot

::*Out of all of your friends, who is the one that can make you laugh no matter what?*:: haha i dontk now

::*Do you trust the friends you have?*:: arnt they friends?

::*True or False: You would take a bullet for a friend*:: true pain is nothing

 

 

((..:*Music*:..))

 

?*What genre do you listen to the most?*?punk emo rock country

?*What is currently in your CD player?*? mp3 player but ive been listenin to taking back sunday alot lately
?*Are you a rebel like I am, and download music illegally?*? i am more of one than you you fuckin lame ass sayin ur a rebel bitch….haha had to get the swearin out of me

?*Do you own any band shirts?*? yeshhr

?*Which ones?*? incubus,mathcbook romance,metallica

?*What was the first concert you went to?*? elton john i thiink
?*What about the last one?*? 3 doors dwon

?*What is your opinion on techno music?*? hahaha shit…..it ok i guess
?*Do you like Evanescence?*? yeah amy lee is a pretty awsome girl

?*Did you ever own any New Kids On The Block stuff?*? haha no

?*What happened to Ricky Martin?*? he got deported

?*Do you think musicians should stick to music, or cross over into acting?*? depends

?*What is that one song that plays in your head over and over?*? wonderwall

?*What is the worst song you have ever heard?*?ahh forgot but i kno i have one

?*What is your favorite song?*? to many

?*Do you think Britney Spears is fake?*? her chest yeah

?*What do you think about Christina Aguilera?s comeback?*?she aint any stronger i hate her….i liked genie in a bottle

?*Did you ever like Michael Jackson?*? i wish i could have a sleep over

?*Do you think he is misunderstood?*? haha he misunderstands everything
?*What about Eminem?*? if i could be black id be eminem

?*Do you think Paris Hilton will make it in the music business?*? haha so many stupid pop lovin kids so probly

?*Why or why not?*? jessica simpson made it didnt she

 

 

((..:*This or That*:..))

 

::*Jessica Simpson or Ashlee Simpson*::hate em both…..jessica isnt even that great looking…and ashlee cant sing….lala on the kitchen floor slut

::*Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears*::Britney Motherfuckin SPears

::*Paula Abdul or Madonna*:: Madonna shit

::*Clay Aiken or Kelly Clarkson*:: clay is a grade A fag…kelly

::*Sprite or 7up*:: up yours

::*Kelly Osbourne or Avril Lavigne*:: Avril by far

::*Maria Menos or Michelle Branch*:: Michelle
::*Story of The Year or The All American Rejects*:: SOTY

::*Eminem or Lloyd Banks*:: Eminem!

::*Slow Motion or Freak A Leak*:: dont know!

::*Rebel or Prep*:: mix

::*Coke or Dr. Pepper*:: dr pepper

::*The Fast and The Furious or 2Fast 2Furious*:: Fast & the Furious…

::*Paul Walker or Vin Disel*:: vin

::*Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie*:: nicole

::*Pink or Blue*:: dunno

::*Brown or White*:: White!

::*Mayo or Mayonaise*:: mayo
::*Thongs or Bikini*:: thongs my friend thongs

::*Abercrombie or Hollister*:: hollister?

::*Hot Topic or Pac Sun*:: Pac Sun!

::*Hurley or Etnies*:: H U R L E Y
::*Target or Walmart*:: Walmart!

::*Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit*:: Linkin Park!

::*Lip gloss or Lipstick*:: Lip Gloss!

 

 

((..:*Random*:..))

 

?*How are you?*? ok bored
?*Do you still suck on your thumb?*?nevr did evr

?*If you could have something to drink right now, what would it be?*? dr.pepper or triple black

?*What are you thinking?*? I wanna go home…..

?*Are you bored like I am trying to write this stupid thing?*? Yess!

?*Are you a morning person?*? hell no i stay up for sunrises

?*Are you addicted to Xanga?*?no

?*How many times do you change your layout on Xanga?*? havnt
?*Are you afraid of anything?*? not specifically
?*Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?*? hell no

?*What kind of lip gloss do you wear?*? hahano!

?*What is your favorite item to where:belt
?*What is today?s date?*?1st?

?*Have you ever made up your own word?*? yee
?*What is it?*? —jesusfuckinchrist(ive only said it outloud like 2ce)

?*What does it mean?*? —self explanitory

?*Mine is shizzle face mcgee*? wtf

?*It means shit face mcfucker*?k

?*Are you bored yet?*? Yup!

 

 

((..:*Future*:..))

 

::*Do you want to be married?*:: yeah
::*To whom?*:: how would i know

::*Do you want kids?*:: yes

::*How many?*:: 2

::*Where do you want to live?*:: dunno

::*What do you want to work as?*:: coach football

::*What kind of car do you want?*:: 69′ yanko camero 


 


 
im done with tonite….tooo much later

i think thats a cool pic right thurr

thats a cool pic i found

u might have to highlight it to get it to work…its ok u can still read it!

theres our freshmen football schedule……the last games the day after my birthday.for the a team nyway n i’ll be on that team prolly so that iwll be cool.tell me what u think about my tech analysis

ok

Day	Date	Opponent	Location	TV Broadcast	Prediction
Sat	09/04/2004	SMU	Dallas, Texas		Win
Sat	09/11/2004	New Mexico	Albuquerque		Win
Sat	09/18/2004	TCU	Lubbock, Texas	Fox Sports Net	Win
Sat	09/25/2004	Kansas	Lawrence, Kan.		Win
Sat	10/02/2004	Oklahoma	Norman, Okla.		Loss
Sat	10/09/2004	Nebraska	Lubbock, Texas		W/L
Sat	10/23/2004	Texas	Lubbock, Texas		W/L
Sat	10/30/2004	Kansas St	Manhattan, Kan.		Loss
Sat	11/06/2004	Baylor	Lubbock, Texas		Win
Sat	11/13/2004	Texas A&M	College Station, Texas		Win
Sat	11/27/2004	Oklahoma St	Lubbock, Texas	TBA	W/L

k this is basically the same prediction as chris paynes…..cept i think that Tech is gonna beat the aggies and im 75% sure of that.k.Aggies were 4-8 last year…tech was 8-5 both teams will improve…..aggies overall will improve this year…tech is going to improve on defense because u cant get any worse(106th in the nation)Tech is losing there record setting(yes i know about the interceptions, but i also know about the yards he got)qb B.J.. But Head Coach leach is known for how well he can train qb’s and it isnt like what he already has is that bad.Sonny Cumbie 5yr Senior was 41-61 with 374 yrds and 1 td in the time he has played.Robert Johnson was one of the top prospect junior college Qb’s in the nation with a National title under his belt in 2002 where his team had an undefeated season.he had a 21-2 record at reedley college in california…so he knows how to lead a winning football team and with coach leach’s help theres no telling how good he could be. Tech has returning powerhouse running back taurean henderson.he had1,347 yrds total offense n 16 tds last yr 10-15 lbs heaveir but is just as fast as last year so look for a good season from him.they also have an all returing oline pretty much wich will be good for the inexperienced qb’s.Tech lost 3 great recievers in wes welker,carlos francis,and mickey peters.they had a combined 671 catches for 8,414 yrds and 64 tds in there careers at tech.We have jarrett Hicks that had 32 catches 498 yrs and 5 tds,Nehemiah Glover-77 catches 1,091 yrs, 9tds in 03…that should be enough for a good passing game… nehemiah is takin wes welkers posistion of inside reciever and that will be a very threatening spot for him with his speed and abilities tied in with how techs offense operates.

You should expect maybe a touchdown less or so a game from there 42.5 per game in 03. That was 4th in the nation.The raiders have 9 returning starters…. on defense so they should be quite a bit better this year.last year was a disaster for there defense.106th nationally…crap.allowing 34 points a game in 03 101st in the nation they are looking to be quite a bit better this year .with returning senior adell duckett. he had 14 sacks n 23 tackles for a loss last yr.

in response to chris payne thinkin the aggies will overtake tech…..tech has been 7-2 against them in last 9 appeareances…and the crowd will make a difference but not big enough to turn the game….techs gonna come out on top on this one….in other big 12 issues texas tech hasnt recorded a losing season since 1992-the longest streak since the end of the southwest conference…everyone regards Texas & A&M  as the big schools in texas….but the beloved aggies were 4-8 last year…tech was 8-5 buddy.

watch out….forme…

yaya im done……take that biatch

hey guys….couldnt sleep tonite so i though id write a lil.Well my life is goin pretty good right now i would say.Im a happy guy. Cept im about to leave for a week and wont see some ppl for awhile.im gonna go crazy in georgia…..i had hopes of goin to the warped tour but its wednesday starting at 1130 n i’ll probly get there around 2 wednesday.so that sucks.suks bad.real bad.The mist is wats pretty you know,all gold n silver….mhm….too bad it cant stay like that all the time…….nothin gold can stay….sorry my outsiders qoute just popped uo in my head…..i like it  tho n its all good.well i went to the notebook again sat. w/lauren.shes a very kool girl.its not near as good the second time around….i still had a good time tho..then i went to the colts game tonite.that was pretty fun…saw some ppl i havnt seen in awhile…met a kid with the same kool name as me.met some other kids.they wer ok.wow its5 41 thats late………but i couldnt sleep if my life depended on it for some wierd reason. even tho im really tired.im gonna go crazy in georgia…..cant wait till i get back man.well  i guess thats all i got for tonite cause i need to try to sleep a lil again……gnite

im not actually watchin that movie………jus wish i was…..i gotta buy it onlim

stayed up all night sunday n watched varsity blues…..that is a great movie…..my favorite..just cause it always helps me n makes me feel better after watchin it. well anyway.ive experienced alot of stuff in the last month or so….not necassarily involved with other people.just me.ive went through alot and im still confused.im just changing or somthing.its wierd.but everythings gettin better now.im startin to figure some things out.like i finally got off likin the same girl ive liked for well…a long time n everyone knows who that is.but shes still my bestfriend. anywasy ive got someone new to take up my thoughts.im listenin to taking back sunday alot.but i learned how to play wonderwall on the guitar…i can almost sing with it but i know i sound horrible jus cause i cant sing.but im doing so i can play it better. this summer has been better then any summer b4. i think cause im growin up or somthin.i wouldnt know yet. but i will sometime soon i hope. newayz. i really am in a good mood tonite.ive gotten like 20 hours of sleep in the last 5 days. but i am all good and happy n not really tired.maybe cause im in such a good mood.ny way i’ll think about wat i need to write in here so i make more sense next time. im just rambling so i should stop! gnite my friends

What do you dream about?
Name/Nickname:
Age:
Zodiac Sign:	AquariusAriesCancerCapricornGeminiLeoLibraPiscesSagittariusScorpioTaurusVirgo
Fav. Color Combo:	Blue/SilverBlack/WhiteGrey/RedGreen/GoldPink/BlackPurple/BlackBlue/OrangeBlack/RedMix and match theseNone of these
Your dreams generally include:	friends and girls
Approximate number of monthly nightmares:	53
The worst monster you’ve seen in a dream:
Your dreams are usually	in full color
Percentage of dreams involving sex – 56%
Will your dreams ever come true?	(8) – yes. – (8)
This cool quiz by cutelilangelx – Taken 229441 Times.

New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

thats pretty good actually

How Love-Smart are you? Find out at DatingTips.ws

look at me i know love

New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

another one of these

thats my test results.thats me.take it or leave it.tech predictions next entry i have slow internet so i cant check other teams stats to make my predictions till i get home!life i goin good right now.kinda.k ttylt

]]> [email protected] (Brandon Mangan) https://www.brandonmangan.com/blog/2004/7/-12 Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:04:50 GMT https://www.brandonmangan.com/blog/2004/7/-13

thats techs schedule….im gonna predict whos gonna wim on each game next entry…..so watch for that one kool kids cause i was once a genius.

Student council camp was awsome.yeah it was kool.everyone was really kool.other than that bubba girl that burped n was nasty n way to loud.someone needs to put a muzzle on her.

lata

heyyyy,

its been quite awhile since i wrote in this….and alot of things have changed.i noticed that i only wrote in here when i was camping or somthing.i barely ever camp but i odnt know why i wrote in here when i was about to do that. well anyway summers been treatin me pretty well…..student council camp was alot of fun.football camp helped.liftings helping.boyscout camp was pretty kool.it wouldnt have been without collin bagget and colton hendersons great job in gettin things.umm otha than that.this summers been normal.got really drunk once.did some things i had to think about.so im not doin ny of that nymore.or tryin not to….im clean but not exacttly strait edge.well newayz i’ll try to write in here more than once a month.but i cant guarentee nything.

Brandon

It’s kinda been awhile since i wrote in this, i just ahavnt thought about it. I really don”t have much to say. school is almost over. this weekend sucked cause i went camping expecting it to be fun, but it was horrible and i got sunburn. i missed a dance in the process. but its ok. u live,u learn,then u get hugs. I’m really tired. its 12 and i watched the last samurai tonite. it was a great film. i am going to buy it. thats how good it was. oh yeah. don’t ask me about some of the stuff in here cause last time som1 did it got me in trouble…….well im really tired, so im gonna go sleeppyyyy.

NIte foo

Brandon’s Recent Entries

Hey…its been a litlle while since i wrote in here.. I didnt go to school today. that was kool. Tommorow we have taks. thats ok. Im listein to incubus and matchbook romance right nbow. im thinkin about alot of stuff.this weekend we had a boyscout campout. It rained friday night but it was ok cause we got to sleep in jaymes blazer. that was pretty cool. i found his old license in the back and he said i could have it. in sept if i put my pic on it i can use it as a fake i.d. hehe. im tired of this year. of school. and stupid peple.all that stuff is gettin to me.when i had a nap sunday, i had my first dream in a long time. it was probly the best dream ive ever had. it involved someone else. we did alot of different stuff. not gonna go into detail. it was like a dream of my perfect day. if that dream actually kinda happened, id be the happiest guy in the world. but it probly wont. Welll. today was math taks.easy.boring.mrs. henry wouldnt let me listen to me music. y not?i dunno. 3 hrs in the same class w/out talkin to anyone is crazy.and sittin that long made my back hurt.we do it again tommorow.

Xanga

hey… this is me and i don’t have much to write really other than we have a 5 day break from school….bad weather days and easter combined..wich is kool..today i cleaned,sat around,and jogged, tommorow im goin fishin down at the river w/brent we will catch somthing..hhopefu;;y. i have to restring my reel. that’ll be fun..oh yes…fun…well i’lll write more later

Brandon